-Delile
- Singene kanjani kulolu bishi?
- Izizathu zokuthi kungani abantu beshada kamuva empilweni
- Uhlelo lokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado amasonto ayisishiyagalombili
- Usukulungele?
Iphesenti lemishado e-United States enempilo liphansi ngendlela emangalisayo.
Futhi izinga lesehlukaniso liyaqhubeka nokukhuphuka kancane unyaka nonyaka.
Ngakho-ke senzani? Sikuguqula kanjani lokhu? Ngabe kufanele ngabe sesishada kamuva kakhulu empilweni?
Eminyakeni engama-30 edlule, umbhali, umeluleki wokuqala, u-Life Coach nongqongqoshe uDavid Essel ubelokhu esiza abantu ukuthi benze isinqumo uma bekulungele ukushada, noma cha, futhi kufanele bashade nhlobo, noma kufanele ulinde kuze kube kamuva empilweni?
Ngezansi, uDavid usinika imicabango yakhe ngesimo esingesihle somshado kulelizwe.
“Ibhizinisi lami, ngeshwa, liyaqhubeka nokukhula kakhulu namakhasimende avela kuwo wonke umhlaba ngenxa yesimo esesabekayo semishado, hhayi e-United States kuphela kodwa nakwezinye izindawo.
Singene kanjani kulolu bishi?
Yini esiyenzayo ukuzama ukwehlisa inani lezehlukaniso, ngenkathi ngasikhathi sinye sandisa amaphesenti emishado enempilo futhi ejabule?
Lapho sithi isimo semishado e-United States asisihle, ake ngibelane ngokuthi kungani sikholelwa ukuthi:
- Imishado yokuqala engaphezu kwama-55% izophela ngesehlukaniso
- Cishe ama-62% emishado yesibili izogcina ngesehlukaniso
- Cishe ama-68% emishado yesithathu izogcina ngesehlukaniso
Akusona isikhathi sokuvuka?
Izibalo sezifana iminyaka eminingana, kepha akekho noyedwa obonakala enza lutho ngalesi simo.
Futhi ngamaphesenti emibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye isikhathi eside, eminyakeni yami engama-30 njengomeluleki, umqeqeshi wempilo oyinhloko kanye nongqongqoshe, ngiyakutshela ukuthi amaphesenti amancane kakhulu kuleyo mishado yesikhathi eside ejabulayo.
Abantu abaningi, ngenxa yezinto ezifana nokuzimela, bahlala ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo ngenxa yokwesaba ukuba wedwa, ukungazethembi kwezezimali nezinye izizathu eziningi.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani abantu beshada kamuva empilweni
Ngikhumbula ngo-2004, lapho incwadi yami ethengisa kakhulu ethi “Slow down: the fastest way to get everything you want,” ikhishwa, sabhala ngaleso sikhathi ukuthi “amadoda ngokuvamile awavuthwa ngokwasemoyeni ukushada aze abe neminyaka engama-30, abesifazane hhayi abavuthiwe ngokomzwelo kuleli zinga lokuzibophezela baze bafike eminyakeni engama-25 edlule. ”
Kepha kusukela ngo-2004, ngibona ushintsho olukhulu engizokwabelana ngalo nami njengamanje.
Abesilisa. Ngibona iningi lamadoda kulezi zinsuku selivuthiwe ngokomoya, futhi likulungele ukuzibophezela emshadweni wesikhathi eside uneminyaka engama-40.
Ngenxa yezizathu engingazazi, amadoda amaningi engisebenza nawo aphakathi kweminyaka engama-20 nengama-30 awekho lapho akulungele khona ukuzibophezela komshado, izingane nokuningi.
Kubukeka sengathi leli banga lokuvuthwa selikhulisiwe, futhi manje lapho ngisebenza nabesilisa abasekupheleni kweminyaka yama-30 kanye nama-40s abo ngithola ukuthi bavuthiwe emoyeni, futhi bakulungele ukusingatha izingcindezi nentokozo eza nokuthola umlingani wesikhathi eside futhi mhlawumbe nezingane.
Abesifazane. Ngibona futhi isimo esifanayo senzeka nabesifazane, kanti eminyakeni eyi-15 edlule bengizosebenza nabesifazane abambalwa abaphakathi kweminyaka engama-21 nengama-25 abebenenjabulo enkulu ngomshado, izingane futhi bebebonakala bekhulile ngokomzwelo, kepha namuhla , Ngikhuthaza amakhasimende ami abesifazane ukuthi balinde baze babe neminyaka engama-30, ngaphambi kokuthi iningi labo likulungele ukuzibophezela emshadweni nomndeni wesikhathi eside nezingane.
Vele ukukhathazeka ngabesifazane abaningi abalinde baze babe neminyaka engama-30 ukuthi bashade, noma bazibophezele ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, ukuthi lapho-ke bazizwa ingcindezi yokuba nezingane ngokushesha okukhulu. Kepha ngiyabatshela ukuthi ukuba nezingane kuma-20s akho, ngenkathi kungasebenzela abanye abantu, kunabantu abaningi kakhulu abanezingane ezingakhulile ngokwanele ukuba babe omama nobaba abakhulu.
Ngakho-ke, okubangela ukushada sekwedlule isikhathi nemiphumela yako eceleni kobuhle nobubi bokushada kamuva empilweni, ukwenza isinqumo unolwazi.
Nayi imicabango embalwa engifuna ukuwabelana ngayo ukuze ngikwazi ukusiza ukwehlisa izinga lesehlukaniso futhi nginyuse izinga lomshado onempilo ezweni lethu:
- Qhubeka nokubambezela ukushada uze ube mdala empilweni. Ngicabanga ukuthi lokhu kubalulekile. Futhi ngicabanga ukuthi kungenye yezinto ezinkulu kakhulu okufanele sizibheke, maqondana nokukhiqiza imindeni ejabule nenempilo ngokuzayo.
- Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado. Njengongqongqoshe ngishade imibhangqwana embalwa kule minyaka eyi-15 eyedlule, futhi ekuqaleni kwakuphoqelekile ukuthi kimi ukuthi ngishade nabashadikazi kwakudingeka bangene ohlelweni lwethu lokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado amasonto ayisishiyagalombili.
Eminyakeni eminingana edlule saqala ukubuyela emuva, abantu abafuna ngishade nabo olwandle, ezintabeni, ezindaweni lapho beya khona kodwa babengafuni ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado.
Ekuqaleni nganginempilo ngokunciphisa umsebenzi wokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado, kepha manje ngemuva kokubona isimo semishado yethu kulelizwe ngibuyele emuva ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi noma yibaphi abashadikazi engizobashada sebeqedile uhlelo lokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado amasonto ayisishiyagalombili.
Uhlelo lokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado amasonto ayisishiyagalombili
Kulolu hlelo lwamaviki ayisishiyagalombili, sikhuluma ngendima yabesilisa nabesifazane emshadweni, sikhuluma ngokukhulisa izingane, ukuthi umuntu ngamunye ulindeleni ukuthi impilo yakhe yocansi izobukeka kanjani, ozophatha ezezimali, ngabe kuzoba nohlobo oluthile lwenkolo noma ingokomoya labo bobabili abazali nezingane, ngabe kukhona izingqinamba nabasekhweni okumele sizinakekele ngaphambi komshado, nezinye izihloko ezahlukahlukene eziqinisekisa ukuthi laba bantu ababili basekhasini elilodwa empilweni .
Ngikholwa ukuthi wonke umfundisi, wonke umpristi, wonke urabi owenza imishado namuhla, kufanele abuyele ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi banehlelo elelulekile lokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado okumele la makhasimende aligcwalise ngaphambi komshado.
Akukho okuhlukile, akukho okwehlukile nhlobo.
- Ingabe kukhona ababulali abangase babe khona ebudlelwaneni?
Encwadini yethu yokuqala ethengiswa kakhulu kunazo zonke “focus! Slate imigomo yakho ", sikhuluma" ngomthetho ka-David Essel ka-3% wokuthandana ", okusho ngokusobala ukuthi uma umuntu ocabanga ukushada naye, enanoma ngubani ongabulala isivumelwano sakho, uma bengazimisele ukwenza ushintsho futhi ususe lawa mabhulokhi ebudlelwaneni, khona-ke amathuba obudlelwano abaphumelelayo aphansi ngokwedlulele.
Ngakho-ke ababulali bakho besivumelwano, futhi umlingani wakho wamanje unabo?
"Bhekana nababulali" yilezo zinto ongeke ukwazi ukuhlala nazo.
Abanye abantu abasoze bahlala nomuntu obhemayo, ngakho-ke uma bethandana nomuntu obhemayo, futhi umuntu obhemayo engafuni ukuyeka, ngizobakhuthaza ukuthi bacabange ngokuhamba, ngoba akukho lutho olubi ukwedlula ukubambelela emshadweni noma ukuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside lapho umlingani wakho enenkinga oyikhethayo akwamukeleki kuwe.
Noma mhlawumbe ucabanga ukushada nomlingani wakho njengamanje, futhi ufuna izingane futhi baphikisana nalokho ngokuphelele. Yima khona lapha! Lowo kungaba ngumbulali wesivumelwano engingancomi ukuthi noma ngubani aqhubekele phambili futhi ashade nomuntu onemibono ephikisayo kuleli zinga.
- Buza noma yimiphi imibhangqwana eshadile ephumelele ukuthi uyazi, ukuthi bakholelwa ini imfihlo yokuphumelela kwabo kuyinto.
Leli yithuluzi elidala engilisebenzise namakhasimende ami amaningi ngaphambi kokuba ngibashade, ngibenza bafinyelele kubazala babo, obabekazi, omalume, ogogo nomkhulu, labo ababengothisha besikole esiphakeme, ababengabaqeqeshi.
Ngibatshela ukuthi bafinyelele okungenani izithandani ezinhlanu ezinomshado onempilo futhi zithole phansi ukuthi yini eyenza ukuthi usebenze.
Kungiphatha kabi kakhulu ukubona imishado eminingi isesimeni esibi, nezingane zihlupheka nsuku zonke, futhi ngingathanda ukuba yingxenye yesixazululo esikhundleni sengxenye yenkinga.
Lo mbhalo ubhalelwe ukusisiza ukuthi sinciphise ubudlelwano nemishado engasebenzi kulelizwe futhi sakhe imindeni ejabule futhi esebenza kahle.
Usukulungele?
Kuthathe ngokungathi sína konke lokhu, wabelane nabangane bakho, futhi ngokubambisana singehlisa isimo sobudlelwano obubi esibubona kaningi ezweni lethu. "
Umsebenzi kaDavid Essel uvunyiwe kakhulu ngabantu abanjengoWayne Dyer ongasekho, futhi usaziwayo uJenny Mccarthy uthi "UDavid Essel ungumholi omusha wenhlangano ecabangayo."
UMarriage.com uqinisekise uDavid njengomunye wabeluleki bezobudlelwano abaphezulu kanye nochwepheshe emhlabeni.
Ungumbhali wezincwadi eziyi-10, ezine zazo esezithengiswe kakhulu.
Ngemininingwane engaphezulu ngakho konke okwenziwa nguDavid, sicela uvakashele Www.davidessel.com