-Delile
- 1. Bahlala ngaphansi kokufanele
- 2. Basebenzisa ukulinda nethemba njengendlela yokubhekana nezinkinga
- 3. Abathathi umthwalo wabo wenjabulo yabo
- 4. Bagxila ezicini ezingezinhle zesimo sabo
- 5. Benza izaba eziningi
Kungaba yinkohliso impela ukuchaza ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukungajabuli. Uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano, 'umshado ongajabule' ungasho izinto eziningi ezahlukahlukene.
Isibonelo, emshadweni ongenaluthando, akaneliseki ngendlela oshade naye amphatha ngayo phambi kwabantu, noma akathandi indlela oshade naye akhuluma ngayo nabangane bakhe noma umndeni wakhe, noma lokhu, noma lokho .... singahamba kuqhubeke amahora.
Kungenzeka singazi ukuthi umshado ongajabulisi usho ukuthini ngempela, kepha siyakuzwa.
Sonke okungenani sasinobudlelwano obunye obasenza singajabuli, nokho sakuthola kunzima ukukuqeda, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi sahlala kuleso “simo esingajabule, esingenalo uthando” izinyanga, iminyaka, amashumi eminyaka, noma mhlawumbe sisasebudlelwaneni obunjalo .
Ngakho-ke, uvame ukuzibuza njalo- ingabe umshado wami usuphelile?
Kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi ubambeke emshadweni ongajabule kodwa ungakwazi ukuphuma? Uma ubona izimpawu zomshado wakho usuphelile, kungani uhlala emuva?
Sonke sinezizathu zethu, njengokwesaba isizungu, ukubhoreka, noma singacabanga ukuthi ucansi luhle, noma mhlawumbe simjwayele lowo muntu, njll.
Akunandaba ukuthi sizathu esingajwayelekile kangakanani sabantu abasebudlelwaneni obungeneme, ezinye izici ezijwayelekile zenza ubudlelwano obungajabulisi bufane nobunye.
Ake sicabangele ezinye zezici okwabelwana ngazo emshadweni ongajabulisi.
1. Bahlala ngaphansi kokufanele
Ekuqaleni, imibhangqwana eshadile izama ukunganaki, ukukhohlwa, noma ukubeka ngaphansi kukakhaphethi zonke izinto ezincane ezidala ukungezwani phakathi kwazo lokho kugcina kuholele esimweni sokungajabuli.
Impela lezo zinto ezincane, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ziba yisicefe esikhulu futhi zikwazi ukudala inani elikhulu lokucasuka nokukhungatheka.
Yileyondlela abashadikazi ababambeka ngayo kokuthile okwenza abalingani bazizwe bengelutho, bengahlonishwa, bethukwa, noma besaba kakhulu lokho umlingani wabo angenza ngokulandelayo ukubadumaza noma ukubalimaza.
Kodwa-ke, kwabanye bethu, lezi zimpawu zomshado ezingajabulisi azanele ukuphuma noma ukubuthuthukisa kakhulu ubuhlobo.
Ngaphakathi ngaphakathi, sisebenza kusuka enkolelweni yokwazi ukuthi asibalulekile, akudingekile, ukuthi asikufanele ukunakwa nokwaziswa. Ngaleyo ndlela sigcina sesibekezelela “isimo esikhona” sobudlelwano bethu obungeneme.
2. Basebenzisa ukulinda nethemba njengendlela yokubhekana nezinkinga
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izinkinga zomshado zisayina, ngaphandle kokungenelela okulungile kanye nesixazululo, imvamisa ziba nzima kakhulu futhi zibe yinkimbinkimbi.
Ekupheleni, lo mbhangqwana udlula ezikhathini zokungazizwa kahle, ukudangala, imizwa yecala, amahemuhemu, ukuhlala wedwa, njll., uma kwenzeka zingazinaki izimpawu ezigqamile zomshado ohlulekayo.
Esikhundleni sokuziphendulela nokuthatha izinyathelo ezibalulekile ekubuyiselweni kobudlelwano obunzima, imibhangqwana engajabule imvamisa ihlala ingenzi lutho icabanga ukuthi ukungeneliseki kwayo akulona iphutha layo nokuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi isimo sizoshintsha ngandlela thile futhi izinto zizoba njengakuqala ( lapho lo mbhangqwana wawusathandana kakhulu).
3. Abathathi umthwalo wabo wenjabulo yabo
Akunakuba okulungile, noma okulungile, ukusho ukuthi imibhangqwana engajabule izenzela usizi ngenhloso. Akekho umuntu ongathanda ngamabomu ukukhetha ukuthi ‘angajabuli emshadweni’, noma ahlupheke ngemiphumela yomshado ohlulekayo.
Kungenzeka ukuthi abakakuqondi lokho, okwamanje inhloso yokuba sebudlelwaneni akukhona ukujabulisa omunye umuntu kepha ukushintshisana ngenjabulo yomuntu ngamunye osenayo umlingani ngamunye.
Ozakwethu kumele bakwazi ukuthanda, ukunakekela, ukwazisa, ukuzihlonipha, nokuzihlonipha ngaphambi kokuba banikeze uthando olungenamibandela kumlingani wabo.
4. Bagxila ezicini ezingezinhle zesimo sabo
Kulula ukubambeka ekucabangeni ikakhulu ngemiphumela emibi yobudlelwano obungajabulisi bese ukhohlwa konke ngezifundo zokuphila ezibalulekile ezikunikezayo. Izimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlulekayo yithuba elihle lokuzithuthukisa kanye nokukhula komuntu.
Imibhangqwana ephumelelayo imvamisa iyilabo abakwazile ukushintsha umbono wabo futhi baguqula impilo yabo yothando yaba yisithiyo enjabulweni yabo yaba ngumthombo wamakhono wokuletha injabulo eyengeziwe empilweni.
Ngale ndlela bayakwazisa nokulwa futhi bangenza okungcono kakhulu ezikhathini ezinzima kakhulu ndawonye.
5. Benza izaba eziningi
Esikhundleni sokuvuma ukuthi benze iphutha, baqamba amanga noma bagodlelana okuthile, abalingani emshadweni ongajabule bavame ukuphendula benze izaba. Baziziba kalula izimpawu zokuthi umshado usenkingeni, noma umshado ufile.
Lo "mkhuba" ulinganisela amandla okuthuthuka kokwethembana kanye nokujwayezelana esikhathini esedlule futhi kubangele ukuthi imibhangqwana ihlale ingajabule futhi ingaxhumeki ebudlelwaneni bayo.
Ukuvuleka nokwethembeka kudinga isibindi esikhulu futhi akumangazi ukuthi abantu abaningi kangaka abakulungele ukuba sengozini futhi bavume ukushiyeka kwabo nokungapheleli ebuntwini babo.
Abaningi bethu abanakho ukwethembeka uma kukhulunywa ngezingxoxo ezibucayi nabathandekayo bethu ngakho-ke sicasha ngezizathu, izindaba, izincazelo, noma ngisho nokuxolisa okungenalutho.
Kuzoba nezikhathi kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano lapho izithandani zihlanganyela emikhubeni nasekuziphatheni okulimaza ubudlelwano futhi okuletha ukungabaza nezinselelo. Ayikho indaba yothando engenawo umzabalazo.
Buka le vidiyo ukukusiza ekutholeni izizathu eziyisithupha eziphezulu zokuthi kungani umshado wakho uchitheka. Le vidiyo ingakusiza ukuthi ubone izimpawu zomshado ochithekile futhi uthathe izinyathelo ezidingekayo zokuvuselela ubuhlobo bakho.
Ukhiye wokuqhubekela phambili nokunqoba “izikhathi ezinzima othandweni” ngukuvuma ukuthi awujabule emshadweni noma ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho buyadina. Yazi ukuthi izimpawu zomshado wakho ziyahluleka, nokuthi wenzani ukudala lokho kungathokozi.
Uma usukwazi ukubona izimpawu zomshado seziphelile, bese wenza okuhluke ngokuphelele kunalokho obukade ukwenza. Ukwenza into efanayo futhi ulindele umphumela ohlukile akusoze kwasiza ubudlelwano bakho ukuthi bukhule futhi bukhule ngendlela othanda ngayo.
Umshado ongajabulisi akudingeki ube inkinga ehlala njalo. Uma usebenza ngokushesha ngemuva kokuhlangabezana nezimpawu zomshado omubi, ungavusa umshado wakho ongajabule futhi uvuselele inhlansi ebudlelwaneni bakho.