-Delile
- Kusho ukuthini ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano?
- Ngabe ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano kujwayelekile?
- Yini ebangela ukungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni?
- Izindlela ze-15 zokubhekana kanjani nokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni
- 1. Khulumisanani ngokucacile
- 2. Nika isidingo sakho sokulawula
- 3. Thintana nemizwa yakho
- 4. Gwema ukugxeka umlingani wakho
- 5. Zibandakanye kakhulu nomlingani wakho
- 6. Zama ukufunda ulimi lothando lomlingani wakho
- 7. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela
- 8. Dedela okulindelwe kakhulu
- 9. Hlola ukuthi imizwa yokungaqiniseki ivelaphi
- 10. Yamukela ukuthi akubona bonke ubudlelwano obusebenzayo
- 11. Ungafaki wonke amaqanda akho kubhasikidi owodwa
- 12. Bhekana nokwesaba kwakho
- 13. Yiba nesandla esivulekile kumlingani wakho
- 14. Phendukela kothile ukuze uthole usizo
- 15. Cabanga uma imizwa yakho ingamafulegi abomvu
- Isiphetho
Ukungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni kungadala imizwa yokukhathazeka. Ungahle ungazi ukuthi umi kuphi nomunye wakho obalulekile, futhi ungahle uzibuze ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngempela ngawe.
Ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano nakho kungaholela ekubuzeni ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwano bakho bukufanele yini nokuthi uyafuna yini ukuba nomunye wakho obalulekile. Ngeshwa, ukungaqiniseki ngobudlelwano kungaholela ekuxoshweni kwabangahle babe ngabalingani bakho ngoba ungazizwa unesidingo sokuzivikela ekulimaleni.
Uma ubulokhu ubhekene nokungaqiniseki kobudlelwano, ungathatha izinyathelo zokubhekana nalesi simo futhi uzizwe ukhululeke kahle ngokwengeziwe.
Ukusebenza ngokungaqiniseki kobudlelwano kungakusiza nokuthi unqume ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwane buhloselwe ukumelana neziphepho obhekene nazo noma uma kungewona umdlalo ofanele kuwe.
Kusho ukuthini ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano?
Ukungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni kungachazwa njengesimo lapho unemizwa exubile khona.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungazizwa ukuthi unobudlelwano obenelisayo nokuxhumana okusondelene nomlingani wakho. Ngokuphikisayo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungahle ungaqiniseki ukuthi okunye kwakho okuphawulekayo kukuwe ngempela noma unentshisekelo yokuba nawe isikhathi eside.
Ungase futhi ungabaze ukuthi ubudlelwano bulungile nokuthi ngabe ujabulile ngomunye wakho obalulekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungahle ukhathazeke ngokuthi ubudlelwano buzoya kuphi ngokuzayo, ukuthi buzohlala noma cha, nokuthi ngabe umlingani wakho uyakukhathalela.
Ukungaqiniseki nakho kungaba yindlela yokungazethembi ngobudlelwano. Ungazizwa umlingani wakho enesithakazelo kwabanye abantu noma eseceleni kokukushiya.
Lokhu kungaqiniseki kungaholela ekutheni ukhathazeke kakhulu futhi uhlaziye konke ukuxhumana onakho nomunye wakho obalulekile ngoba awuqinisekile ukuthi bazizwa kanjani. Uzama ukulawula kakhulu ubudlelwano.
Ngabe ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano kujwayelekile?
Sonke besinovalo ngobudlelwano bethu ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngemuva kwakho konke, iningi lethu lifuna ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo nobuphumelelayo, futhi ukwesaba kwethu ukulinyazwa kungaholela ekungabazeni ukuthi ngabe umuntu esinaye uzibophezele kithi yini.
Lokho kushiwo, izinga elithile lokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni lilinganiselwe. Awukwazi ukulawula inhliziyo yomunye umuntu noma uqiniseke ukuthi bazokwenza kanjani kunoma yisiphi isimo, ukuze uzizwe ungaqiniseki kwesinye isikhathi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, impilo iguquka njalo, nokuyinto ongaqiniseka ngayo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Awukwazi ukubikezela ukuthi iziphi izivimbamgwaqo wena nomunye wakho obalulekile enizohlangabezana nazo ngokuzayo, futhi anikwazi ukubikezela kahle ukuthi ubudlelwane buzodlala kanjani ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ngokunikwa la maqiniso, ukungaqiniseki noma ukungaqiniseki ngobudlelwano kuyingxenye yokuphila. Ngenkathi ukungaqiniseki okuthile kuyisiko futhi kulindelekile, okungajwayelekile kulapho unokungaqiniseki okuningi kangangokuba awukwazi ukwakha ukuxhumana nabantu.
Uma unemizwa enamandla kangako yokungaqiniseki, uhlala ucindezela abalingani abasha kude noma uthole ukuthi udliwa ukukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kukhona inkinga ekhona, njengokuhlukumezeka okungasonjululwanga kusukela ebuntwaneni noma ebudlelwaneni obudlule, obuletha etafuleni.
Yini ebangela ukungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni?
Ukungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni ngokwengxenye kuyisenzo semvelo esivela esifisweni sethu sokuzivikela.
Iningi labantu ligxile kakhulu ekufezeni ubudlelwane obuphumelelayo kangangokuba banokukhathazeka okuthile ebudlelwaneni, ngoba bahlala bekhathazekile ukuthi ubudlelwane babo bamanje buzokwehluleka. Abasoze bathola “eyodwa.”
Kwezinye izimo, ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano kungaba ngokweqile futhi kuqhamuke ekuvikelekeni okukhulu. Isibonelo, abanye abantu bangaba nokunamathela okungavikelekile, okungadala ukwesaba ukushiywa kanye nomuzwa wokuthi ubudlelwano benzelwe ukwehluleka noma nini lapho kuvela inkinga encane.
Isitayela sokunamathisela esingavikelekile singakhula ngenxa yokuhlukunyezwa kwengane nokunganakwa noma ukunakekelwa okungahambelani okuvela kubazali noma kwabanye abanakekeli ngesikhathi sobuntwana.
Ukungaqiniseki nakho kungavela kunoma yikuphi okulandelayo:
- Uyabona ukuthi umlingani wakho akakusekeli.
- Umlingani wakho uziphatha ngezindlela ongazithandi.
- Kungahle kube khona umehluko omkhulu phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.
- Ungaba nezinkinga, njengokulindela okungenangqondo, okuletha etafuleni.
Izindlela ze-15 zokubhekana kanjani nokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni
Ukuzwa ukwesaba ukungaqiniseki kungalindeleka ebudlelwaneni, okungenani kuze kube sezingeni, kepha ukuba nokukhathazeka okuzungeze umuzwa wokungaqiniseki kungaba yinkinga.
Uma uhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki okuqhubekayo ebudlelwaneni, cabanga ngezindlela ezilandelayo zendlela yokubhekana nokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni:
1. Khulumisanani ngokucacile
Uma uhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni, thatha isikhathi sakho ukwazisa ukwesaba kwakho kumlingani wakho.
Kungenzeka ukuthi imizwa yokukhathazeka imane ivela ekungaqondani okungalungiswa ngengxoxo. Uma ufihla imizwa yakho, ungakha inzondo, futhi le nkinga ayisoze yaxazululwa.
2. Nika isidingo sakho sokulawula
Kwesinye isikhathi ukungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni kungadliswa isidingo sokulawulwa. Ukunikezela ngesidingo sokulawula kungakusiza ukuthi ubhekane neminye yale mizwa.
Uma uvumela izinto zenzeke ngokwemvelo, ungathola ukuthi okunye ukukhathazeka kwakho kuyaphela.
3. Thintana nemizwa yakho
Kwezinye izimo, ukungaqiniseki kobudlelwano kungavela ebunzimeni bokukhomba imizwa yakho yangempela, futhi ungaxazulula ukungaqiniseki uma ungcono ekuboneni imizwa yakho.
Mhlawumbe uzizwa udabukile ngokuthile, noma mhlawumbe uzizwa ushuba ngoba ulaka luyanda.
Imvamisa, imizwa ihlotshaniswa nemizwa engokomzimba, kanti ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi abantu abanokudangala bangase balwe kanzima ukuthola lezi zinzwa zomzimba emzimbeni.
Uma uzizwa ungaqinisekile ngobudlelwano bakho, ungacabanga ukuthi ngabe kukhona okunye okwenzekayo.
4. Gwema ukugxeka umlingani wakho
Uma uzizwa ungaqinisekile ebudlelwaneni, ungahle uveze imizwa yakho kumlingani wakho bese ubabeka icala ngezinto ezithile. Lokhu kuholela ekwehlukaneni phakathi kwenu nobabili futhi kukwenza uzizwe ungaqinisekile ngokwengeziwe.
Gwema ukutshela umuntu ohamba naye ukuthi, “Awusoze wanginaka!” noma ukufaka icala njengokuthi, "Uhlale ungayinaki imizwa yami!" esikhundleni salokho usebenzise “izitatimende Mina.”
Isibonelo, ungahlanganyela umuzwa onjengokuthi, “Ngizizwa sengathi imizwa yami ayivunyelwanga kamuva nje.”
5. Zibandakanye kakhulu nomlingani wakho
Njengoba ubudlelwane buqhubeka, ophathina bangaqala ukwehlukana ngokwabo njengoba injabulo yobudlelwano obusha iphela.
Uma uzithola njalo uhlela ngaphandle komlingani wakho noma wehluleka ukuwafaka empilweni yakho yansuku zonke, kungaba yisikhathi sokwenza ushintsho oluthile.
Ukubandakanyeka ngokwengeziwe komunye nomunye kungasusa eminye yemizwa yokungaqiniseki onayo. Bameme ukuba bazijwayeze nawe, beze esidlweni sakusihlwa nabangane bakho, noma uzame umdlalo wokuzilibazisa omusha ndawonye, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi ubagcina babuyekezwa ngosuku lwakho.
6. Zama ukufunda ulimi lothando lomlingani wakho
Kwesinye isikhathi ukunqamuka phakathi kwabalingani nemizwa yokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni kubangelwa abantu ababili abakhuluma izilimi zothando ezahlukene. UDkt Gary Chapman wenza izilimi ezinhlanu zothando, ezichaza izindlela abantu abakhetha ukuthandwa ngazo.
Isibonelo, ulimi lwakho lothando lungaba ukuthinta ngokomzimba, kanti umlingani wakho uzizwa ethandwa ngezenzo zensizakalo noma ubenzela izinto ezinhle.
Uma uzama ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngendlela engeyona engcono kubo, ukungaqiniseki kungakhula ebudlelwaneni. Zama ukufunda ngolimi lomlingani wakho oluthandayo, ukuze nikwazi ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zomunye nomunye kangcono futhi niqede okunye ukungaqiniseki.
7. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela
Kwesinye isikhathi abantu bathembela kakhulu kozakwethu kangangokuba balindele ukuthi bahlangabezane nazo zonke izidingo zabo.
Uma uvumela yonke injabulo yakho incike kumlingani wakho, kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa ungaqinisekile kwesinye isikhathi ngoba akekho umuntu oyedwa ongahlangabezana nezidingo zakho noma akwenze ujabule ngo-100% wesikhathi.
Ukuthatha isikhathi sokwenza ukuzinakekela kungakwenza uzizwe ungcono ngawe futhi kwandise ukuzethemba kwakho ebudlelwaneni.
Ukwazi okwengeziwe ngendlela ongakwenza ngayo ukuzinakekela, bukela le vidiyo:
8. Dedela okulindelwe kakhulu
Uma ubamba umlingani wakho ngezindinganiso ezingenakwenzeka, amathuba okuthi bazokwehlisa ngezikhathi ezithile, okuholele ekutheni uzibuze, "Kungani ngibungabaza ubudlelwano bami?"
Yeka ukulindela ukuphelela kumlingani wakho futhi ubamukele ukuthi bangobani, futhi ngokunokwenzeka uzothola ukuthi ukubhekana nokungaqiniseki nokukhathazeka kuba lula.
9. Hlola ukuthi imizwa yokungaqiniseki ivelaphi
Kwesinye isikhathi ungazizwa ungaqinisekile ebudlelwaneni ngoba umlingani wakho unezindinganiso ezibonakala zehluke kakhulu kwezakho.
Isibonelo, ungahle ukhethe isheduli yomsebenzi ejwayelekile engu-9 kuye ku-5 kanye nokwakheka okunikezwa yimpilo enjalo, kanti umlingani wakho kungenzeka ukuthi usebenza ekhaya futhi ubeka uhlelo lwabo ngokungaguquguquki okuncane.
Uma kunomehluko obucayi phakathi kwakho oholele ekuzizweni ungaqiniseki ngobudlelwano bakho, hlola ukuthi ngabe laba abahlukumeza isivumelwano noma izinto ongazamukela.
10. Yamukela ukuthi akubona bonke ubudlelwano obusebenzayo
Kungadingeka ukuthi uyeke ukucasuka ngemizwa yokungaqiniseki bese ufunda ukuyamukela.
Vuma ukuthi ubudlelwano bungase bungasebenzi, futhi uqonde ukuthi noma buqhubeka noma cha, impilo izoqhubeka, futhi usengathola indlela yokujabula.
11. Ungafaki wonke amaqanda akho kubhasikidi owodwa
Uma ucabanga ukuthi udinga ubudlelwano obuhle ukuze ujabule, cabanga futhi. Uma ubeka yonke injabulo yakho ekutheni ubuhlobo buyasebenza noma cha, noma yiziphi izingqinamba eziqhamukayo zizoholela ekungaqiniseki kobudlelwano.
Esikhundleni salokho, yamukela ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho akuyona ukuphela kwento ohamba ngayo, futhi funda ukuthola injabulo ezintweni ozithandayo, ebunganini, nasezifisweni zempilo.
12. Bhekana nokwesaba kwakho
Sonke sinobudlelwano obudlule, okunye kwakho okungabandakanya imithwalo ebucayi. Uma uhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki okungapheli ebudlelwaneni, kungaba yisikhathi sokuhlola ukuthi ngabe lokhu
imizwa ivela ekwesabeni ukwaliwa.
Sekuyisikhathi sokubhekana nalokhu kwesaba, ngakho-ke akungeni endleleni yobudlelwano bamanje.
13. Yiba nesandla esivulekile kumlingani wakho
Mhlawumbe ukungaqiniseki kwakho ngobudlelwano kuholele ekutheni usuke kumlingani wakho futhi ungaziniki kakhulu kubo. Uma kunjalo, zinike isikhathi sokubapha.
Veza imibono yakho ngothando, futhi uzimisele ukwenza izinto ukwenza impilo yabo ibe lula. Lokhu kungaholela ekubeni uhlukane futhi uzizwe ungaqinisekile ngokwengeziwe.
14. Phendukela kothile ukuze uthole usizo
Uma uzithola uzibuza, "Ingabe ukungabaza ebudlelwaneni kuyinto ejwayelekile?" ungaya kumngane ukuze nixoxe ngezinto ezikukhathazayo.
Zingahlinzeka ngombono omusha wokuthi imizwa yakho ingokwemvelo noma inkinga enkulu edinga ukuxazululwa. Ezimweni lapho ungeke ubonakale unyakazisa imizwa yakho yokungaqiniseki, ungahle uzuze nokubona umelaphi esebenza ngemizwa yakho.
15. Cabanga uma imizwa yakho ingamafulegi abomvu
Ukungaqiniseki okuthile ebudlelwaneni kungalindelwa, kepha uma uthola umuzwa ocwilayo wokuthi ubudlelwano bakho abulungile, umzimba wakho kungenzeka uzama ukukuxwayisa ukuthi ubudlelwano akusibo obakho.
Isibonelo, uma uthola ukuthi uvame ukudabuka lapho uthandana nomuntu wakho noma wesaba ukuveza imizwa yakho, ungahle uhlangabezane nokungaphezu kokungaqiniseki. Ungaba sesimweni esingaba yingozi.
Ukungaqiniseki kwakho kungenzeka kungenxa yamafulegi abomvu, njengezimpawu zokuxwayisa zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba, lapho-ke ukukhetha kwakho okuhle kakhulu kungenzeka kubuqede ubudlelwano.
Isiphetho
Ukuhlala phansi nomlingani impilo yakho yonke kuyindaba ebucayi, ngakho-ke kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuba nemizwa ethile yokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni.
Lapho uzizwa uzizwa ungaqinisekile, kubalulekile ukucabanga ngemizwa yakho. Kungaba ukusabela okungokwemvelo ezinkingeni eziqhamuka ebudlelwaneni, noma kungenzeka ukuthi zivela ekungaqiniseki kwakho.
Noma ngabe yikuphi, kunezinyathelo ongazithatha ukuqeda imizwa yakho yokungaqiniseki futhi unqume ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwano bukufanele yini.