-Delile
- Impilo nomzimba wakhe kuzoshintsha
- Ukucabanga kwesimo esibi kakhulu
- Nobabili ninemizwa ehlukene ngekusasa
- Konke kumayelana nowesifazane nengane
- Ucansi luzoshintsha phakathi nesikhathi sokukhulelwa
Leli qiniso kunzima ukugaya, kepha kuliqiniso ukuthi ubudlelwano buyashintsha ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, noma ngabe uyafuna noma cha. Uma ubona ukuthi ukukhulelwa kubulala ubuhlobo bakho, qhubeka ufunde le ndatshana phambili.
Ayikho into eguqula umshado njengebinzana elithi, “Masibe nengane!” Mhlawumbe ukhulume ngento engenzeka ngaphambi kokushada, kodwa manje njengoba senibe ndawonye isikhashana, uzizwa sengathi lesi isinyathelo esilandelayo.
Kepha uzilungele izinkinga zobudlelwano ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa?
Sethemba ukuthi ungakhululeka ngokwazi ukuthi ngisho nabazali abanolwazi bake baba nezinkinga zomshado ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa. Lapho sikhuluma ngomshado nokukhulelwa, abazali baba novalo nokukhathazeka lapho becabanga ngokungeza enye ingane kule nhlanganisela.
Kuyisinqumo esikhulu esizoguqula hhayi izimpilo zawo wonke umuntu kuphela kepha nomshado ngokunjalo. Izoshintsha kanjani nje?
Ngakho-ke, uma ukhulelwe futhi unezinkinga zobudlelwano bokukhulelwa, awuwedwa. Noma ungafisi ngakho, kwesinye isikhathi, ukukhulelwa kungalushintsha uthando.
Impilo nomzimba wakhe kuzoshintsha
Ngaso leso sikhathi, ama-hormone azokwanda kakhulu kowesifazane ukulungiselela umzimba wakhe enganeni, bese ukusiza ingane. Lokhu kungamenza azizwe egula — abanye besifazane bagula impela — futhi umzimba wakhe uzoshintsha.
Olunye ushintsho luzoshesha, kanti olunye luzofika kancane. Lokhu kungadala ukuthi owesifazane azizwe engavikelekile ngaye nangomzimba wakhe, futhi mhlawumbe uma ezizwa engaphilile, angazizwa engakhuthazeki ukwenza izinto ezijwayelekile abezenza phambilini.
Ngakho-ke, uma kukhulunywa ngokukhulelwa nobudlelwano, lokhu kungadala ubunzima. Ngakho-ke, nansi indima yendoda. Akulindelekile ukuthi umyeni abe ophelele, kulindelwe ukuqonda okuthe xaxa nokuguquguquka.
Indoda kungadingeka ukuthi ithathe ukuvilapha ezintweni inkosikazi ebizinakekela ngaphambilini; ngethemba ukuthi angadlula kuyo ngokujabula, azi ukuthi kufanele kube kwesikhashana, futhi kungenxa yesizathu esihle.
Ukucabanga kwesimo esibi kakhulu
Kanye namahomoni kanye nomuntu omusha omusha ozongena endlini, owesifazane — futhi kwesinye isikhathi indoda — angaqala ukuthatha isimo esibi kakhulu.
Umshuwalense wokuphila ubaluleke ngokungazelelwe, uma kwenzeka okuthile komunye umzali, ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ingane inakekelwa. Lezi zithandani zizothenga amagiya ezingane, kufaka phakathi isihlalo semoto.
Ukucabanga ngokushayisana kwezimoto okungenzeka, abanye abazali bazizwa benecala futhi basebenzise imali eningi ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze bathole okungcono kakhulu. Lokhu kungayibulala ngempela injabulo yokuba nomntwana futhi kwenze abashadikazi bagxile kokungahle kungahambi kahle ngokukhulelwa noma ingane.
Lesi ngesinye sezinkinga eziyinhloko emshadweni ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, nakho okungaletha imizwa emibi yesikhathi eside emshadweni.
Nobabili ninemizwa ehlukene ngekusasa
Mhlawumbe omunye wenu uzizwa “elungele” lesi sinyathelo esilandelayo empilweni kunomunye. Noma, mhlawumbe nobabili nibuyela emuva naphambili mayelana nokuthi ngabe yilokhu okufunayo. Uma usukhulelwe, awukwazi ukubuyela emuva. Kufanele uqhubekele phambili.
Lokhu kungasabisa, futhi ikakhulukazi uma omunye oshade naye ejabule, omunye onemizwa exubile angazizwa ekhululekile ukusho lutho ngakho.
Lokhu kungadala ukuthi imizwa yabo ikhule, futhi bangafuna ukuvimba injabulo yomunye oshade naye. Emshadweni, lokhu kungadala izingxabano ezithile futhi kuholele ekulweni okuningi.
Konke kumayelana nowesifazane nengane
Kumele uzibuze ukuthi ukuba nengane kubuguqula kanjani ubudlelwano bakho kanti empeleni, kuyinto enhle kakhulu eyenzeka emshadweni.
Ngakho-ke, lapho ukukhulelwa kungena emshadweni, kungaba konke ngowesifazane nengane. Umama uthola konke ukunakwa, uthola yonke imibuzo, futhi kulindeleke ukuthi abanye benze zonke izinqumo ezinkulu mayelana nokukhulelwa nengane.
Noma kungumzamo ohlanganyelwe, kwesinye isikhathi umyeni uyashaywa indiva. Angazizwa sengathi akanandaba, kepha-ke, unendima ebalulekile ekwakheni lo mndeni omusha.
Uma ezizwa eshiywe ngaphandle, angahle ahoxe noma abe nemizwa engemihle maqondana nenguquko yempilo yonke ngokujwayelekile. Lokhu kungadala izingqinamba emshadweni; angahle angakhulumi bese edabuka noma ethukuthele ngoba imizwa yakhe ayizwakali.
Yile ndlela ukukhulelwa okuthinta ngayo ubudlelwano, noma ngabe ucabanga ngakho okungenani. Ungazesabi lezi zinkinga zokukhulelwa nobudlelwano; empeleni, zama ukuziqonda kangcono, ukuze uzokwazi ukubhekana nazo ngempumelelo lapho zenzeka.
Ucansi luzoshintsha phakathi nesikhathi sokukhulelwa
Into enhle ngokukhulelwa-okungenani kwabesifazane abaningi-ukuthi phakathi nengxenye yokukhulelwa, ukushayela kwabo ucansi kuyanda. Lesi yisimo se-hormonal, futhi injabulo yokukhulelwa okusha nayo ingakusiza.
Lokhu kungasiza indoda nomkayo bazizwe bexhumeke kakhulu futhi benothando komunye nomunye njengoba bechitha isikhathi esithe xaxa ndawonye. Ngeshwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ekukhulelweni, abashayeli abaningi bezocansi bahamba kancane, ikakhulukazi njengoba izisu zabo zikhula futhi kwesinye isikhathi zivimbela izikhundla ezijwayelekile zocansi. Abesifazane bavame ukuzizwa bengathandeki futhi benamandla amancane ocansini.
Lezi ngezinye zezinkinga zobudlelwano obucwebezelayo lapho ukhulelwe njengoba lokhu kungadala ukuthi imibhangqwana izizwe ingaxhunyiwe futhi inothando komunye nomunye njengoba ichitha isikhathi esincane kakhulu sobabili ndawonye.
Kepha, lezi zinkinga zomshado ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa zingahlelwa kahle uma abashadile benesilinganiso esifanele sokuqonda nothando olungapheli ngomunye nomunye. Ukuphela kokufanele bakubone ukuthi umshado ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa ungashayisa amadwala, kepha kuyinto yesikhashana.
Uma bobabili abalingani benentando, bangadlula kulezi zinguquko zobudlelwano ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa futhi babuyele esimeni esijwayelekile.
Ukukhulelwa yisikhathi esibucayi ezimpilweni zabazali okufanele zibe. Kungaba isikhathi esijabulisayo njengoba indoda nenkosikazi becabanga ngawo wonke amathuba nokuthi ingane yabo entsha izoba njani. Kodwa-ke, ukukhulelwa kungashintsha ubudlelwano bomshado — kwesinye isikhathi kube obubi - uma umbhangqwana ukuvumela.
Ngenkathi nigubha ukukhulelwa okusha njengombhangqwana, qiniseka ukuthi nixoxa ngemizwa yenu ngokukhululeka, nisizane nizizwe nithandwa, futhi nenze indawo enenjabulo lapho ingane yenu — kanye nobabili — ningaphumelela ndawonye.