-Delile
- 1. Kuholela ezinkingeni zemali
- 2. Uba kude ngokomzwelo
- 3. Imiphumela ekucabangeni okungalungile
- 4. Impilo yakho yezocansi iyahlupheka
- 5. Akukho ukuxhumana okusho ukuthi akukho ukuyekethisa
- 6. Ufuna abanye bavale isikhala
- 7. Kukhombisa ukunganakwa
- 8. Umshado umile
Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana emshadweni kuyindlela esheshayo yesehlukaniso. Umshado unabantu ababili abavela ezizindeni ezingafani futhi banezindlela ezingafani zokuxhumana, abafuna, nezidingo. Ngakho-ke kuyaqondakala ukuthi lezi zinto ezahlukahlukene zingenza kanjani kube nzima ukuthi imibhangqwana ikhulume. Ubudlelwano bakho budinga izibopho eziqinile ezingokomzwelo nezingokomzimba ukuze baphumelele.
Umsebenzi wakho, ikhaya, kanye nempilo yakho yezocansi konke kuzohlupheka uma ungabelani ngemicabango nemizwa yakho nomlingani wakho. Lokhu kwenza kubaluleke kakhulu ukufunda ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho, noma ngabe udaba lolo lungemnandi noma lungathandeki.
Lapho omunye umlingani emisa omunye ngaphandle kuzoba nenkinga yokulandela. Nazi izizathu ezi-8 zokuthi ukungabikho kokuxhumana emshadweni kungabi yimpilo.
1. Kuholela ezinkingeni zemali
Imali ingaba yinto ethintekayo kubantu abaningi. Lesi sihloko singazizwa singakhululekile ukuxoxa, ikakhulukazi uma usohlelweni lokuhlanganisa izimali zakho noma ungatshelanga umlingani wakho nganoma yiziphi izikweletu ozikweletayo.
Noma ngabe wabelana nge-akhawunti yasebhange noma ugcina izimali zakho zihlukene, kusabalulekile ukukhuluma ngezindleko zakho zenyanga. Imibhangqwana engakhulumi ngezindaba zemali ingase isebenzise ngokweqile, izizwe ibambekile ngokungabi yondlayo, futhi igcine isezikweletini ezijulile kunangesikhathi ingashadile.
Kubalulekile ukuthi imibhangqwana ixoxe ngesabelomali futhi ivuleke ngezikweletu nezindleko zayo.
2. Uba kude ngokomzwelo
Lapho ungakhulumisani kakhulu noshade naye, kulapho uzoba kude kakhulu ngokomzwelo. Ukukhuluma yindlela oxhuma ngayo. Lapho kunokuntuleka kokuxhumana emshadweni, uthando nalo luqala ukufiphala.
Olunye ucwaningo ngokuziphatha kwemibhangqwana, olwenziwe ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-40, lwathola ukuthi izinkinga zokuxhumana ezivame kakhulu zigxile ekwenqabeni komlingani ukuxhumana (ukungathulisani), ukugxekwa ngophathina, ukuxhumana okuvikelayo, kanye nokudelela okuphelele lapho bezama ukukhuluma omunye komunye.
Ibanga elingokomzwelo liyimbangela enkulu yesehlukaniso. Lapho imibhangqwana iqhela kude, ayithambekele kakhulu ekuya ocansini, ukuba nobusuku obuhle, noma ukulungisa okungahambi kahle emshadweni.
3. Imiphumela ekucabangeni okungalungile
Lapho imibhangqwana ingavulelananga omunye nomunye kungaba lula ukuthi iqale ukucabanga. Uma ungazisi oshade naye ukuthi uzophuza ukufika ehhovisi noma uphuma nabangani bakho ngemuva komsebenzi esikhundleni sokuza ekhaya bangacabanga ukuthi wenza okuthile obekungafanele ube yikho.
Uma ungakhulumisani noshade naye, zonke izinhlobo zokucatshangelwa zingenziwa ebudlelwaneni. Uma ukhathele kakhulu futhi wenqaba ucansi ngobunye ubusuku, umlingani wakho angacabanga ukuthi unesithukuthezi ngabo futhi uzizwe unganakiwe. Uma uvala izinkinga zomuntu siqu, oshade naye angacabanga ukuthi yimbangela yokukhathazeka kwakho.
4. Impilo yakho yezocansi iyahlupheka
Kunezinkinga eziningi zocansi eziqubukayo lapho kunokushoda kokuxhumana emshadweni. Isibonelo, ukungabi khona kwe-orgasm kungahle kuholele ekukhungathekeni phakathi kwabantu abashadile futhi kungadala ubutha nokudumala.
Ngokufanayo, umuntu oyedwa angafisa ukuya ocansini kodwa azizwe engakwazi ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala. Lokhu kungakhathaza bobabili abashadile.
Imibhangqwana idinga ukuba nezingxoxo ezivulekile nezethembekile mayelana nempilo yabo esondelene nezinto abazithandayo. Imvamisa yezocansi, amafantasy, izidingo, kanye nezinguquko kuzo zonke izingxoxo ezibalulekile imibhangqwana okumele ibe nayo ukuze yakhe ubuhlobo bobulili obenelisa ngokulinganayo.
5. Akukho ukuxhumana okusho ukuthi akukho ukuyekethisa
Awungeke ulunge ngaso sonke isikhathi, njengoba ungafisa ngenye indlela. Ubudlelwano budinga ukulinganisela. Ubudlelwano obuhle bakhiwe ngokuthembana, inhlonipho, nokuyekethisa. Lapho kungekho ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni, imibhangqwana ayinandawo yokuyekethisa.
Uma ungeke uhlangane phakathi ngezinkinga ezithile emshadweni wakho, empeleni wenza kungavunyelwa izidingo, izidingo, nemizwa kazakwenu. Lokhu kungaba yingozi empumelelweni yobudlelwano. Oshade naye udinga ukuthi uqaphele imizwa yakhe futhi umsekele. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kuzothuthukisa uthando nokwethembana.
6. Ufuna abanye bavale isikhala
Akumangazi ukuthi ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana emshadweni kungenye yezimbangela eziphambili zesehlukaniso. Izithandani ezingakhulumisani zimane nje zihlala ndawonye. Ukuziqhelelanisa nowakwakho ngemicabango noma ngezenzo kungalimaza kakhulu ubudlelwano
Ukuzwa ukuntuleka kokuqinisekiswa noma ukuthi umlingani wakho akakuzwa noma anakekele izidingo zakho kungakudambisa amandla. Lokhu kuntuleka kwenhlonipho nothando kungadala ukungavikeleki, okungahle kudale ukuthi omunye wabalingani afune umuntu ongaphandle komshado ukuthi agcwalise lokho abona sengathi umshado wabo untula.
7. Kukhombisa ukunganakwa
Olunye uphawu lokuthi ubudebeselela ubudlelwano bakho uma wena noshade naye niyekile ukuxhumana. Noma ngabe isihloko sikhulu noma sincane, ubudlelwano bakho bungahlupheka kuphela lapho wena nomlingani wakho senqaba ukukhuluma.
Ubudlelwano obujabulisayo nobunempilo bugxila ekwabelaneni ngemicabango, imizwa, nesikhathi. Ukuxhumana yikhona okwenza nigcine nithandana, yindlela umlingani wakho afunda ngayo ukukufundela, ukuthi uxhuma kanjani, nokuthi uyixazulula kanjani ingxabano.
8. Umshado umile
Abantu bahlala beshintsha futhi bekhula. Leli qiniso lenza kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana ifunde ukwamukela ushintsho futhi ikhule ndawonye. Lapho kunokushoda kokuxhumana emshadweni kungadala ukuthi ubudlelwano bume ndawonye.
Akufanele uyeke ukufunda ngomlingani wakho. Udinga ukufunda ukuguquka ndawonye ukuze nakhe ubudlelwano obuthembanayo, obuvuthiwe lapho nobabili niziqonda kahle izidingo nezidingo zomunye.
Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana emshadweni kungasho inhlekelele ebudlelwaneni. Ukukhuluma noshade naye yindlela oveza ngayo injabulo yakho, ukudabuka, okufunayo, izidingo zakho nokuthi ukuxazulula kanjani ukungaboni ngaso linye.
Lolu lwazi lubalulekile emshadweni onempilo. Sebenza kanzima ukuze ukhululeke koshade naye. Ukwenza kanjalo kuzokhuphula ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano bakho futhi kukwenze nisondelane.