-Delile
- Kuyini ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo?
- Ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi nangokomzwelo
- Ingozi yokuphathwa kabi ngokwengqondo
- Ungasho kanjani ukuthi uyahlukunyezwa ngokomqondo?
- Yini okufanele uyenze uma uhlukunyezwa ngokomqondo?
Igama elithi "ukuhlukunyezwa" yilona esilizwa kakhulu namuhla, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi sisho ukuthini ngempela uma sikhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni.
Ake siqale sichaze yini ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo ebuhlotsheni akuyona:
- Uma utshela umuntu, awukuthandi akwenzayo, lokho akukhona ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo. Noma ngabe uphakamisa izwi lakho ngenkathi ulisho, njengoba ubuyokwenza lapho utshela ingane ukuthi ingathinti isitofu esishisayo, lokho akuhlobene nesigaba esishiwo sokuhlukunyezwa.
- Lapho nixabana noshade naye, futhi nobabili niphakamisa amazwi enu ngenxa yentukuthelo, lokho akukuhlukumezi ngokwengqondo. Leyo yingxenye yemvelo (yize ingathandeki) yokuphikisana, ikakhulukazi lapho imizwa yakho ingalawulwa.
- Uma othile esho okuthile okuzwisa ubuhlungu imizwa yakho, akakuhlukumezi ngokwengqondo. Bangase bangacabangeli noma babe luhlaza, kepha lokho akufakiwe ncamashi kulesi sigaba.
Izimo ezivezwe ekuqaleni akuzona izimpawu zokuthi ubudlelwano obukuhlukumeza ngokomqondo.
Kuyini ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo?
Ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo ebudlelwaneni lapho othile ekulawula, ingqondo yakho nemizwelo yakho, ngendlela enobuthi.
Akubandakanyi udlame lomzimba (lokho kungaba wukuhlukumeza ngokomzimba) kepha kunalokho indlela ecashile, engatholakali kalula ngabangaphandle yokuphathwa kabi.
Kungaba okucashile kangangokuthi uke wakubuza ukuthi uyaphila engqondweni — ingabe ngempela wakwenza “lokho” ngamabomu, noma ngicabanga?
“Ukukhanyisa ngegesi” kuyindlela yokuhlukumeza ingqondo ebudlelwaneni; lapho umuntu oyedwa enza imikhuba yobuqili futhi ethule, engabonakali kofakazi, ukuzwisa omunye ubuhlungu nokulimazeka ngokomzwelo.
Kodwa ngendlela yokuthi (umhlukumezi) angakhomba kulowo ohlukunyeziwe bese ethi “Nakho-ke, uyaphambana futhi” lapho isisulu sibasola ngokubabukela phansi ngamabomu.
Buka futhi:
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi nangokomzwelo
Isibonelo sokuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi kungaba ukuthi umlingani oyedwa usebenzisa ukugxeka kumlingani wakhe, kuthi lapho umlingani ephikisana nakho, umhlukumezi athi, "O, uhlala uthatha izinto ngendlela engafanele!"
Ubeka isisulu icala ukuze kubonakale ukuthi nje “ulusizo,” futhi isisulu simhumusha ngokungeyikho. Lokhu kungashiya isisulu sizibuza ukuthi ngabe uqinisile: “Ingabe ngiyazwela kakhulu?”
Umlingani ohlukumeza amagama uzosho izinto ngesisulu sakhe, noma amsongele ukuze alondoloze ukulawula lapha. Angamthuka noma ambeke phansi, konke lokhu kube ethi uyadlala. ”
Isibonelo sokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo ebudlelwaneni kungaba ngumlingani ozama ukuhlukanisa isisulu sakhe kubangane bakhe nasemndenini wakhe ukuze akwazi ukumlawula ngokuphelele.
Uzomtshela ukuthi umndeni wakhe unobuthi, ukuthi udinga ukuziqhelelanisa nawo ukuze akhule. Uzogxeka abangani bakhe, ababize bengavuthiwe, abangahlakaniphile, noma amathonya amabi kuye noma ebudlelwaneni babo.
Uzokwenza isisulu sakhe sikholwe ukuthi nguye kuphela owazi okulungele yena.
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo kungenye indlela yokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo ebudlelwaneni.
Ngokuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo, inhloso yomhlukumezi; ukushintsha umqondo weqiniso walowo ohlukunyezwayo ukuze bancike kumhlukumezi ukuze “abagcine bephephile.”
Amasiko avame ukwenza lolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokutshela abalandeli behlelo ukuthi kufanele bachithe bonke ubuhlobo nomndeni nabangane abangekho ngaphakathi kwehlelo.
Bakholisa abalandeli behlelo ukuthi kufanele balalele umholi wehlelo futhi benze lokho afuna bakwenze ukuze bahlale bevikelwe ezweni "elibi" langaphandle.
Amadoda ahlasela omkawo ngokoqobo enza ukuhlukumezeka ngokwengqondo (ngaphezu kokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba) lapho etshela omkabo ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kudale ukuthi umyeni ashaye, ngoba “bekufanele.”
Ingozi yokuphathwa kabi ngokwengqondo
Abantu abasengozini yokuba izisulu zalesi sigaba esithile sokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo ebudlelwaneni abantu abavela ezizindeni lapho umuzwa wabo wokuzihlonipha wonakaliswa khona.
Ukukhula ekhaya lapho abazali bebejwayele ukugxeka, ukubhuqa, noma ukubukelana phansi, futhi izingane zingabeka ingane ukuthi ifune lolu hlobo lokuziphatha njengomuntu omdala, njengoba belinganisa lokhu kuziphatha nothando.
Abantu abangacabangi ukuthi bafanelwe uthando oluhle, olunempilo basengozini yokubandakanyeka nenkosikazi ehlukumeza ngokomqondo noma indoda ehlukumeza ngokomqondo.
Umuzwa wabo wokuthi uthando luyini awuchazwa kahle, futhi bayakwamukela ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo ngoba bakholelwa ukuthi abafanelwe okungcono.
Ungasho kanjani ukuthi uyahlukunyezwa ngokomqondo?
Uyini umehluko phakathi kokuba nomlingani ongazweli nokuba nomlingani ohlukumeza ingqondo?
Uma ngabe Ukuphathwa komlingani wakho njalo kukushiya uzizwa kabi ngawe, ukucasuka kuze kufike izinyembezi, ube namahloni ngokuthi ungubani, noma ube namahloni okuthi abanye babone ukuthi ukuphatha kanjani, lapho-ke lezi kuyizimpawu ezisobala zobudlelwano obuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo.
Uma umlingani wakho ekutshela-kufanele uyeke ukuxhumana konke nomndeni wakho nabangane, ngoba “abakuthandi ngempela,” uyahlukunyezwa ngokomqondo.
Uma umlingani wakho ekutshela njalo - uyisiphukuphuku, umubi, ukhuluphele, noma yikuphi okunye ukuthukwa okunjalo, ukukuphatha kabi ngokomqondo.
Uma, noma kunjalo, kwesinye isikhathi umlingani wakho ethi into oyenzile ibingasile, noma ukuthi akayithandi leyo ngubo oyigqokile, noma ukuthi abazali bakho bayamhlanyisa, lokho kungukungabi nandaba.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma uhlukunyezwa ngokomqondo?
Kunezinsizakusebenza eziningi laphaya ezingakusiza uthathe isenzo esinempilo.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bufanele ukulondolozwa futhi ucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho angaba ngumuntu ongahlukumezi ngokwengqondo, funa umeluleki womshado onolwazi kanye nomndeni onobudlelwano nobabili.
Okubalulekile: ngoba lokhu kuyinkinga yabantu ababili, kumele nitshale imali nobabili kulezi zikhathi zokwelashwa.
Ungahambi wedwa; lokhu akuyona inkinga yokuthi usebenze wedwa. Futhi uma umlingani wakho ekutshela lokho, ethi “anginankinga. Ngokusobala, wenza lokho ukuze uye ekwelashweni wedwa, ”lokhu kuyizinkomba zokuthi ubudlelwano bakho abufanele ukubulungisa.
Uma uthathe isinqumo sokushiya isoka noma umyeni wakho (umlingani) okuhlukumezayo ngokwengqondo, funa usizo endaweni yokuhlala yabesifazane bendawo engakuqondisa ukuthi ungazikhulula kanjani kulobu budlelwano ngokuphepha ngendlela eqinisekisa inhlalakahle nokuvikelwa kwakho.