Ubudlelwano bunengcindezi ngokwanele kulezi zinsuku, kepha uma ungeza ubuhlungu obungapheli nokudangala kuleyo ngxube, imibhangqwana ivame ukuzizwa ikhungathekiswa kakhulu izingcindezi zansuku zonke ezinjengamashejuli omsebenzi, ukukhulisa izingane kanye neminye imithwalo yemfanelo yomndeni.
Abaphenyi bathole ukuthi “ukungeneliseki emshadweni, izimpendulo ezingekho emshadweni, kanye nokusebenza kabi komndeni” kuhlotshaniswa "nezimpawu eziphakeme zokucindezeleka emasampula omtholampilo wezinhlungu." (UCano et al., 2000). Ukulimazeka okungokomzwelo okuvela ngokuhlala nobuhlungu obungapheli kuthinta indlela esisebenzisana ngayo nabanye, futhi lapho kuvela ukucindezeleka nezimpawu ezihambisana nakho, futhi ukuxhumana phakathi kwabalingani kuvame ukuhlupheka.
Ngokusho kukaBeach et al., 1990, lokhu kutholakala kungaholela “ekwehliseni ukusondelana nokusekelwa komlingani,” kanti “izimpendulo zomlingani ezingezinhle” zingenza njengokujezisa ukuxhumana nomlingani. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukungeneliseki emshadweni kanye nokuphawula okungahambi kahle / isimilo esivela kumlingani ongabuzwa ubuhlungu, kungaxhunyaniswa nemizwa yokuphelelwa yithemba nokudangala, noma ukukhathazeka nokuhoxa kwezenhlalo, kwamanye amaklayenti ezinhlungu ezingapheli.
Uma wena noma umlingani wakho unezinhlungu ezingapheli, ukuthola izindlela zokuxhumana nokubhekana nokuwa kwalezi zinkinga kungaba nzima kakhulu. Umgomo ukuthola ukuthi ubuhlungu obungapheli nokudangala / ukukhathazeka kubuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano bakho kulezi zindawo ezilandelayo: ingcindezi, ukuxhumana, ukushintsha kocansi / ukuhamba ngenxa yobuhlungu obungapheli, nokuthi singafunda kanjani ukuqonda izidingo nalokho okulindelwe ngumlingani ngamunye ubudlelwane ekukhanyeni kobuhlungu obungapheli nokudangala / ukukhathazeka.
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sokwaneliseka emshadweni lapho ubhekene nokudangala nobuhlungu obungapheli.
Ukukwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngendlela eqotho mayelana nokuthi uzizwa kanjani ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kuzobasiza ekuqondeni ukuthi kungani ungazizwa uphuma noma uya ocansini kulobubusuku. Usebenzisa izitatimende ze-I, unikeze umlingani wakho ukunaka kwakho okuphelele ngokulalela okusebenzayo, ukubheka iso ngqo nokubonisa emuva lokho okuzwile oshade naye akusho, ngezinye zezindlela zokuthuthukisa indlela olalela ngayo futhi uphendule ngayo izidingo zomlingani wakho. Futhi, ukusebenza ngamandla ngezixazululo ezingaba khona kwezinye zalezi zinkinga kuzosiza futhi kuzokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe elalelwa futhi esekelwa.
Ukuya ocansini kungenye indlela ebalulekile esixhumana ngayo nabathandekayo bethu, kepha lapho ukukhubazeka noma ubuhlungu obungapheli bufaka isibalo, singathatha isheke lemvula egumbini lokulala. Imibhangqwana enomlingani oyedwa noma bobabili abahlangabezana nezinkinga zokuhamba, ubudlelwano bezocansi buhlala buhlalise emuva emnyangweni wobudlelwano.
Ngakho-ke imibhangqwana ihlangabezana kanjani nezidingo zomunye nomunye zocansi? Ngokusebenzisa amakhono okuxhumana okukhulunywe ngawo ngenhla, imibhangqwana ingathola ezinye izindlela zokujabulisa omunye nomunye. Yiba nozwelo enhlalakahleni yomuntu omthandayo uma kuziwa ekuxoxeni ngocansi. Kwesinye isikhathi abantu baba nokwesaba okuthile kokukhulisa ubuhlungu babo ngesikhathi sokuya ocansini noma okunye okunamathiselwe ngokomzwelo okuhlobene nemizimba yabo. Futhi, kungadingeka ukuthi ube nobuciko ekamelweni lokulala. Njengaleso sisho esithi, “Kunezindlela eziningi zokukhanda ikati,” kunezindlela eziningi zokuya ocansini ezingabandakanyi ukuya ocansini, ngakho-ke ake uye kuzijabulisa.
Ekugcineni, ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka kuzokwenza izimangaliso ebuhlotsheni bakho-nobuhlungu bakho obungapheli. Abaphenyi bathi ukucindezeleka kuyindlela yomzimba wethu yokusabela engozini yomzimba noma esehlakalweni esibuhlungu.
Kunezindlela eziningana zokubhekana nokucindezeleka:
- Gwema izimo ezikhuphula izinga lokuxineka kwakho (isiminyaminya, izitolo ezinabantu abaningi, njll.). Uma kufanele uye endaweni ethile ecindezelayo, cabanga ngezindlela zokuhlala kude nezinxushunxushu. Hlela kusengaphambili ngaphambi kokuba uhambe, futhi uhlale une "isu lokuphepha" uma kwenzeka udinga ukushiya isimo esinengcindezi.
- Hlala Unombono Omuhle: Ukwelashwa Okuziphatha Ngokuqonda Kusitshela ukuthi siphinde siqambe imicabango engemihle ngemicabango emihle. Ngakho-ke esikhundleni sokuhlala ugxile ezicini ezingezinhle zobuhlungu obungapheli nobudlelwano bakho, thola izindlela zokwandisa imicabango emihle ngokwenza okuthile okukulethela injabulo njengokulalela umculo wakho owuthandayo noma ukuphuma nithandana nomlingani wakho.
- Setha imikhawulo nabanye ukuze uthole izidingo zakho. Nciphisa umthwalo wakho wokusebenza nezinye izidingo, futhi ungesabi ukuthi cha. Ukukhumbula ukulinganiselwa kwakho, ukuqinisa izidingo zakho nokucela usizo lapho uludinga, kuzonciphisa amazinga akho okucindezeleka nobuhlungu, kanye nokwandisa ukuxhumana okuhle nabanye, ikakhulukazi nowakwakho.
- Ungakhohlwa ukuphefumula! Ukuphefumula okujulile, okwehlukanisayo kusiza ekunciphiseni ukungezwani emzimbeni nasengqondweni yakho. Futhi, ukuphefumula okujulile nokuzindla kungenye indlela yokwandisa ukusondelana nomlingani wakho, njengoba ungafunda ukuphefumula ndawonye njengezithandani futhi nixhumane ezingeni elijulile, elinenjongo.