-Delile
- 1. Zifundise kuqala
- 2. Chithani isikhathi ndawonye ngangokunokwenzeka
- 3. Gcina ukuxhumana okuhle
- 4. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela njalo
- 5. Gwema ukusolana
- 6. Gwema ukuphuza utshwala noma ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa
- 7. Gxila ngokufanele ezinganeni zakho
Ukuhlala nomlingani onesifo sengqondo emshadweni kunzima impela. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esidumile kanye nomlobi we-The Available Parent: Radical Optimism in Raising Teens and Tweens, John Duffy, Ph.D. ungeze -
“Izinga lokucindezeleka livame ukuba sesimweni esibucayi, lapho ukulawula ukugula kuba umsebenzi wobuhlobo kuphela, kuzo zonke izinhloso nezinjongo.”
Omunye umqeqeshi wezengqondo odumile waseChicago nomqeqeshi wezobudlelwano uJeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPC, naye unikeze umbono wakhe ngokugula kwengqondo nobudlelwano - "Ukugula kwengqondo kunendlela yokufuna ukuqondisa ukuhamba kobudlelwano, hhayi abalingani ngabanye."
Kodwa wabuye wathi - “Akulona iqiniso ukuthi ukugula ngengqondo kungabuqeda ubudlelwano. Abantu bachitha ubuhlobo. ”
Imvamisa, abantu bayathanda ukukhuluma ngokuthi ukugula kwabo kwengqondo kuyithinta kanjani imindeni yabo, ikakhulukazi abazali babo noma ingane. Kepha kuyindaba ebucayi kakhulu. Ukugula ngengqondo kungathinta kabi impilo yomshado yomuntu futhi yenze ifinyelele ezingeni lenkinga.
Abantu ababhekene nokugula ngengqondo bangaba nomthelela omubi empilweni yengqondo yabalingani babo, futhi ngokufanayo.
Ngenkathi babhekene nalezi zinselelo, abantu bangathatha ukweqa okholweni futhi bafunde ukuthi bangabugcina kanjani ubudlelwane obunempilo ngenkathi bebhekene nomlingani onesifo sengqondo.
Izindlela zokugcina umshado ophilile ngenkathi usebenza nomlingani ogula ngengqondo
1. Zifundise kuqala
Kuze kube manje, abantu abaningi abanalwazi mayelana nezisekelo zokugula kwengqondo, noma bakholelwa emininingwaneni engalungile.
Ngaphambi kokuba ufunde ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokugula ngengqondo kumlingani, isinyathelo sokuqala ukuthola uchwepheshe osezingeni eliphezulu wezengqondo nezokwelapha. Ngemuva kwalokho kuseshwa kokuqukethwe okuhlobene nolwazi oluku-inthanethi mayelana nokuxilongwa okuthile.
Khetha kumawebhusayithi asemthethweni anedumela elihle kanye nezincomo yi-psychotherapist yakho.
Kunzima kakhulu ukubona izimpawu zokugula kwengqondo kumuntu ojwayelekile. Kulula ukubheka oshade naye njengomuntu ovilaphayo, ocasulayo, ophazamisekile nongenangqondo.
Ezinye zalezi “ziphutha zomlingiswa” yizimpawu. Kepha ukukhomba lezo zimpawu, udinga ukwazi izisekelo zokugula ngengqondo.
Ukwelashwa okuphumelela kakhulu kuzobandakanya ukwelashwa nemithi. Ungaxhumana nesazi sempilo yengqondo ukuze uzifundise. Kufanele ube yingxenye ebalulekile yohlelo lokwelashwa koshade naye.
Ungavakashela ama-ion afana neNational Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA), noma iMental Health America (MHA). Le eminye yemithombo engcono kakhulu yokwaziswa okusebenzayo, izinsizakusebenza nokusekelwa.
2. Chithani isikhathi ndawonye ngangokunokwenzeka
Uma ushade nomuntu onesifo sengqondo, ukucindezeleka kungaba yinkinga evamile engathinta ubuhlobo bakho.
Akunandaba nezinga lokucindezeleka obhekene nalo; kumele babe nomuzwa wokunakekelwa nokwesekana komunye nomunye. Isibopho sothando esingadala ubudlelwano obuvame ukusinda.
Ungahlala ndawonye imizuzu embalwa nixoxe ngokuxoxa ngezidingo zakho nezinhloso zakho zezinsuku ezizayo. Tshela oshade naye ukuthi umkhathalela kangakanani. Mtshele ukuthi umazisa kangakanani ngisho nezinto ezincane kakhulu ngaye.
Lokhu kuzokusiza ukugcina owakwakho ekhululekile nobudlelwano bakho bunempilo.
Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo zingalimaza impilo yakho ejwayelekile yocansi. Kungenzeka uma uyisiguli sengqondo; oshade naye uphuza imishanguzo njalo. Uma uhlangabezana nokuphazamiseka empilweni yakho ejwayelekile yocansi ngenxa yemithi, xoxa lolu daba nomlingani wakho nodokotela wakho.
Qiniseka ukuthi awuyi ngaphansi kwemithi engabekiwe ngudokotela wakho. Futhi, ungayeki imishanguzo oyinikeziwe ngaphandle kwemvume kadokotela wakho.
Impilo ejwayelekile yocansi ibalulekile ukwehlisa umzimba nengqondo yakho. Ubulili buthuthukisa amasosha akho omzimba futhi buqinisa ingqondo yakho. Impilo eyehlisiwe yocansi ingadala izingqinamba zengqondo, futhi umzimba wakho uphendula kabi ekuguleni kwengqondo.
"Iziphi izidingo zempilo yengqondo ukukhanya kwelanga, ubuqiniso obengeziwe, ingxoxo engenamahloni." - UGlenn Vala
3. Gcina ukuxhumana okuhle
Njengokuhlangenwe nakho kwami, imibhangqwana eveza imizwa yayo nsuku zonke ngokusho amagama ambalwa amnandi afana nokuthi 'Ngiyakuthanda,' noma "Ngiyakukhumbula," ngemiyalezo noma ngezingcingo noma izingxoxo eziqondile, bangagcina i-chemistry engcono ebudlelwaneni babo.
Gcina umshado wakho unje umbhangqwana osanda kushada. Zama ukuxhumana nomuntu oshade naye ngangokunokwenzeka.
Uma owakwakho esebenza ngokugcwele, kufanele futhi ubhekele lokho noma ngabe ubhekene nokudangala emsebenzini noma cha. Kunezizathu eziningi lapho umuntu angathinteka khona ngokudangala emsebenzini.
NgokweMental Health America, oyedwa kwabangu-20 wabasebenzi unesifo sokucindezeleka emsebenzini noma nini. Ngakho-ke, kunethuba lokuthi oshade naye kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangabezana nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ngenxa yezinkinga zasemsebenzini.
Ngakho-ke, siyini isixazululo kulolu daba?
Thola isikhathi sokuphumula, okungenani kabili ngeviki, nihambe ngezinsuku ndawonye. Nguwe wedwa ongamduduza kulolu sizi.
Ningaya ekhonsathini yomculo, noma nibuke imuvi ndawonye, noma nidle endaweni yokudlela ebizayo, noma yini emjabulisayo. Ungavumeli ukugula kwengqondo kuphazamise umshado wakho.
4. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela njalo
Lesi yisici esibalulekile okufanele ubhekane naso ukuba nomlingani ogula ngengqondo. Ukuzinakekela kubalulekile uma unomlingani onezinkinga zempilo yengqondo. Uma ususa ukugxila kwakho kukho kokubili impilo yakho yomzimba nenhlanzeko, uzobe ubeka impilo yakho yomibili engcupheni.
Qala kusuka kuzisekelo- Phuza amanzi amaningi, ulale ngokwanele, yenza imisebenzi ejwayelekile yomzimba njengokugijima, ukuhamba ngebhayisikili, ukugijima, i-aerobics, njll.
Udinga futhi ukudla ukudla okunempilo, futhi ugweme ukudla okungenamsoco, chitha isikhathi nabangane noma nabantu obathandayo, uthathe ikhefu empilweni yakho yansuku zonke, futhi uthathe uhambo lweholide.
Nawe unga zibandakanye nemisebenzi ehlukile yokudala noma izinto zokuzilibazisa.
"Abantu abanamandla kakhulu yilabo abanqoba izimpi esingazi lutho ngazo." - Akwaziwa
5. Gwema ukusolana
Ukusolana ngezizathu ezithile ezilula kungahle kudlule umkhawulo futhi kungenza ukugula kwengqondo kube nzima. Lokhu kuzokwenza kancane kancane ubudlelwano bakho bube yimpilo. Ngingasikisela ukuthi nihlakule ukuqonda nobabili.
Yenza konke kucace, yamukele okwenzile, uye phambili. Musa ukwahlulela, wazi konke, bese usabela.
Ungaxoxa ngemibuzo ngokugula, futhi ulalele okushiwo ngoshade naye. Ungahle ungavumelani nezimpendulo, kepha kufanele uqonde ukuthi owakwakho uyagula.
Impikiswano yokushisa ingamenza angaphumuli. Udinga ukumqonda, noma ngabe kuba nzima kanjani.
6. Gwema ukuphuza utshwala noma ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa
Imibhangqwana eminingi ebhekana nengcindezi emshadweni noma ukuhlukumezeka okukhulu ingaqala ukuphuza utshwala noma ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa. Wena noshade naye ningawela kulo mkhuba.
Ungathatha lezi zinto ukubalekela ukucindezeleka kwengqondo noma imizwa yakho.
Le mikhuba ayilimazi impilo yakho kuphela kepha ingabhubhisa nempilo yakho yomshado. Uma unenkinga yokugwema ukuphuza nezidakamizwa, zama i-yoga, ukuphefumula okujulile, ukuzivocavoca umzimba njalo, njll. Ngithembe, kuzosebenza.
7. Gxila ngokufanele ezinganeni zakho
Izingane zingacabanga ngokwemvelo ukuthi kungumsebenzi wazo ukulungisa izinkinga zabazali bazo. Kepha abakwazi ukulungisa izinkinga zakho zengqondo. Ngakho-ke, kufanele ubenze baqonde ukulinganiselwa kwabo.
Kufanele ubazise ukuthi ukwelapha ukugula ngengqondo akusona isibopho sabo.
Uma unenkinga yokukhuluma nabo ngokugula kwengqondo, ungathatha usizo lochwepheshe. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane singakusiza ukudlulisa umyalezo wakho kangcono.
Xhumana nezingane zakho. Bazise ukuthi basengathembela kuwe ezikhathini ezinzima. Kungcono uma uchitha isikhathi esanele emisebenzini yomndeni.
“Impilo yengqondo ... akuyona indawo okuyiwa kuyo kodwa inqubo. Imayelana nokuthi ushayela kanjani, hhayi lapho uya khona. ” - UNoam Shpancer, i-PhD