-Delile
- Izinto okufanele ukhulume ngazo nomelaphi wobudlelwano
- Yabelana ngalokho othemba ukukufeza
- Yabelana ngalokho ocabanga ukuthi kuyinkinga
- Yabelana ngemizwa nemizwa yakho
- Yini okungafanele wabelane ngayo
Bonke ubudlelwano buhamba ngezikhathi zabo ezimbi nezimbi. Kukhona uthando, uthando, ukuvumelana, ukulwa, nokungaboni ngaso linye. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukugcina ibhalansi ebuhlotsheni ukuze kungabikho ukunganaki okungena ngaphakathi. Ngeshwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubudlelwano obuthile abunakwenzeka. Abantu bayahlukana, noma ngabe bafuna noma cha.
Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, ukukhetha kwabo ukuthi bafuna ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni, basebenze kubo, noma badlulele empilweni entsha. Kakhulu, imibhangqwana inika ubudlelwane bayo ithuba futhi imvamisa iya kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ukwelulekwa kwezithandani.
Izinto okufanele ukhulume ngazo nomelaphi wobudlelwano
Lapho uvakashela umelaphi wobudlelwano noma uya ekwelashweni okokuqala, ungahle uzibuze ukuthi uzokhuluma ngani ekwelashweni. Ungaba nemibuzo efana nokuthi 'Ingabe ukwelulekwa ngemishado kuyasebenza?', 'Benzani ekwelashweni kwezithandani?' ‘Yini ongayilindela ekwelashweni kwezithandani?’
Ngaphambi kokuya kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano, udinga khomba inkinga emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni. Kungaba nezimbangela ezahlukahlukene zokwelulekwa ngemibhangqwana.
- Lapho ufuna ukusebenzela ukusondelana komshado
- Izinkinga zokuba ngumzali
- Ukukhathazeka ngempilo, izibopho kanye nokulahlekelwa abathandekayo
- Izingxabano zemali
- Izinkinga nabasekhweni
- Ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa
- Ukuguquka kobudlelwano njengokukhulelwa, ukwehlukana, njll
- Ukungathembeki
- Izinkinga zentukuthelo
- Lapho umbhangqwana ufuna ukuxazulula noma iyiphi inkinga enkulu noma encane ngendlela enokuthula
Lapho umbhangqwana uya kuchwepheshe wemibhangqwana ukuthola isisombululo ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa kobudlelwano, kuyithuba lokubeka zonke izindaba etafuleni ngenhloso yesinqumo esihle. Kwabanye, ukwelashwa kobudlelwano, ikakhulukazi uma kulandelwa okokuqala, kungabukwa ngokuqapha. Njengoba umuntu ongamazi ngokuphelele evamise ukuphatha izikhathi kulo mbhangqwana, kukhona ukungabaza ezingqondweni zabalingani ukuthi kumele bahlanganyele malini nengcosana nodokotela wezobudlelwano.
Yabelana ngalokho othemba ukukufeza
Yini ongayilindela ekwelulekeni ngomshado?
Akucatshangwa ukuthi umlingani ngamunye uzoba nenhloso efanayo ekwelashweni kobuhlobo. Yize imiphumela emihle izovela ekwelashweni lapho abashadayo benenhloso efanayo, iqiniso ukuthi omunye umlingani angaba nenhloso ehlukile komunye. Lapho kunokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni, ukuxhumana kuzoba sezingeni eliphansi, futhi abashadikazi bangahluleka ukuxoxa ngenhloso ngaphambi kokuthola ukwelashwa. Kungakuhle uma ungesabi ukuhlanganyela inhloso yakho futhi uthembeke kuyo. Ngokuvamile lesi yisihloko sokuqala okuzoxoxwa ngaso kunoma yisiphi iseshini.
Ngakho-ke uma uvakashele umelaphi wobudlelwano, udinga setha umgomo odinga ukuwufinyelela ngokwelashwa. Ngisho nodokotela wezomshado angakwenzela wena. Kafushane nje, kusho ukuthi ukuze ube nendlela egxile ezixazululweni, kufanele wabelane ngenkinga yobudlelwano nesixazululo ofuna ukusithola ekwelashweni.
Yabelana ngalokho ocabanga ukuthi kuyinkinga
Kwezinye izimo, inkinga eholele ekudingeni ukwelashwa kobudlelwano icacile kubo bobabili abalingani. Kodwa-ke, kwezinye izimo, umlingani ngamunye angaba nombono ohlukile wokuthi iyini inkinga. Lokhu kufanele kudluliselwe kumeluleki wabashadikazi. Akusizi ngalutho ukuvele uvumelane nomlingani wakho ukuthi inkinga yobudlelwano iyini. Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngesikhathi sokwelapha, kufanele uzizwe ukhululekile ukwabelana ngemicabango nemibono yakho; futhi ikakhulukazi lezo ezihlukile kumlingani wakho.
Ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zenu kunganisiza nobabili niphilise. Ingalungisa izinkinga ezinkulu kakhulu futhi ixazulule omaye abaningi. Ngeke kube khona ukulungisa okusheshayo, kepha ukufunda ukuxhumana nezinkinga zakho nokwabelana ngombono wakho kuzosiza kakhulu ekufinyeleleni ekhambi.
Yabelana ngemizwa nemizwa yakho
Ngakho-ke, kwenzekani ekwelulekeni ngomshado?
Lapha, ukwelashwa kumele indawo engathathi hlangothi nengalahli lapho uzokwazi khona ukuveza futhi wabelane ngemizwa yakho. Ngaphandle kwale ndawo, umlingani angaqashwa ngokwabelana ngemizwa yakhe noma ngabe uvaliwe noma akanakiwe. Imizwelo ecindezelwe ayikhuthazi ukwelashwa okuphumelelayo kobuhlobo. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi wabelane ngemizwa yakho nokuthi uzizwa kanjani ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Lapho usuthole umelaphi wakho wobudlelwano ongakusiza ukuthi welaphe, inqubo yokwelashwa ingadala imizwa engaziwa futhi engazizwa kahle. Hlala wazi ukuthi lokhu kuyingxenye yokwelashwa, futhi ekugcineni uzozizwa ukhululekile lapho kuphetha.
Yini okungafanele wabelane ngayo
Ngenkathi ukwelashwa kutholakala kangcono lapho amaqembu evulekile futhi ekhululekile, izinto ezithile zingahlala ngaphandle kweseshini yokwelapha. Asikho isidingo sokubiza amagama noma izitatimende ezilulazayo ezihloselwe ukulimaza omunye umuntu ngamabomu. Abanye ophathina bangasebenzisa ukwelashwa njengendawo entsha yokuqhubeka nokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okwenzeka ebudlelwaneni. Ngokwengeziwe, akunanzuzo yokwenza izitatimende ezingamanga noma ukwenza ihaba phambi kothisha wezobudlelwano. Oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani ekufuneni "ukuwina" bangangeza noma basuse eqinisweni. Imiphumela emihle iyatholakala lapho amaqembu ethembekile emazwini awo.
Kule vidiyo engezansi, ochwepheshe bezobudlelwano uHarville Hendrix noHelen LaKelly Hunt bakhuluma ngokwakha impucuko yobudlelwano ukwenza ubudlelwane bube ngcono futhi bujabule. Bakhuluma ngokuphepha ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, futhi kungatholakala ngokungabeki phansi umlingani wakho. Bezwe ngezansi:
Ukwelashwa yilapho umbhangqwana uya khona ukubeka zonke izingqinamba etafuleni. Umelaphi wobudlelwano angasiza kakhulu ekunciphiseni inkinga yakho ngamasu wokululeka izithandani eziphumelelayo. Ukuhlala futhi uqondane nengcweti kuzokukhombisa indlela efanele.
Kunemihlomulo ehlukahlukene yokwelulekwa ngomshado. Yize kuyinqubo edla isikhathi, inomphumela wesikhathi eside. Ithemba ukuxazulula izingqinamba, ukulungisa ubudlelwane, nokwakha kabusha ngothando. Kodwa-ke, kuncane noma kungakanani okushoyo okungaphazamisa kakhulu inqubo yokwelashwa.