-Delile
- Ukulwa akusekho
- Ukwesaba okuncane ngekusasa
- Inqanyuliwe ngokomzimba
- Izinto azikashintshi
- Ikusasa lakho alibandakanyi oshade naye
Kwakusekuseni kakhulu, ngaphambi kokuba umyeni wakhe avukele ngisho nomsebenzi, wavuka uSandy wabingelela usuku. Waphuma waya ekhishini wayokwenza ikhofi, wahlala wathula ephuza, walunguza ngewindi. Amathuba amaningi abonakala etholakala kuye ngalowo mzuzu.
Kwathi-ke, njengoba ebuyela egumbini lokulala eliyinhloko futhi edlula kumyeni wakhe olele, wazizwa — engenalutho. Kwaphela izinyanga eziningi ezwa ulaka nokukhungatheka ngakho konke okwenzekile phakathi kwabo. Babambana ngayo yonke into encane. Akamtholanga nhlobo, noma wazama. Wayengakaze afune ukusebenzela ubudlelwano babo noma asebenzise isikhathi ndawonye. Futhi impilo yabo yezocansi yayingasekho. Wayekade emthanda kanye, kepha manje wayebonakala njengomuntu ohlukile.
Ngalolo suku ekuseni wazizwa emangele ukuthi intukuthelo yakhe yayingasekho ngokuphelele, futhi esikhundleni sayo kwakuyize. Kwakungaleso sikhathi lapho ayazi khona ukuthi impilo yakhe eya phambili ayizofaka umyeni wakhe. Igama elithi “isehlukaniso” belingasethusi kuSandy. Wayazi kanjalo-ke ukuthi umshado wakhe usuphelile.
Yize kuyinto ejwayelekile emshadweni ukuba nezinkinga eziningi, uma unezinto eziningi ezingaphezulu kuneziphezulu ungahle ube nethuba lokulwa. Ithuba lokushintsha futhi likhule ndawonye. Kunzima, kepha kungenziwa uma nobabili ninothando futhi nizimisele. Yilapho izinto ziqhubekela phambili lapho — kudlula isikhathi sokulwa — lapho isehlukaniso singenakugwenywa. Uzokwazi ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile uma ufinyelela kulezi ziphetho:
Ukulwa akusekho
Uma wena noma oshade naye ungazami nokulwela umshado, kungenzeka ukuthi usendleleni yokuphela. Uma kukhona ngisho nethuba lokulwa lokuthi kukhona okusele ongakusindisa, kungaba wena noma oshade naye niyokhala, nimemeze, nincenge, nincenge, noma nenze okuthile okunzima ukuzama ukukusindisa. Ungafaka ngisho isahlukaniso ngalesi sikhathi njengomzamo wokugcina wokuthusa omunye nomunye ekuphendukiseni izinto — kusekhona ongakonga uma kunjalo. Kepha lapho kunokuthula okuncane noma okuncane, ukubekezela, ukunganaki, ukungakhathaleli, nokulindela ukuphela, khona-ke ukuphela cishe kusondele.
Ukwesaba okuncane ngekusasa
Lapho kukhona okuthile kobuhlobo obusele okufanele bukulondolozwe, khona-ke wena noma oshade naye nizokhathazeka futhi nesabe ngamathuba. Uzokhathazeka ngemininingwane yokuthi izinto zizoba njani. Ubakhathalele ngokuphelele futhi ngokugcwele ngobuhlobo obukhathazeka ngokuthi yiziphi izingqinamba ozodlula kuzo ukuze wenze izinto zibe ngcono. Uma umshado usuphelile, noma kunjalo, mhlawumbe awunandaba nokuthi ikusasa likuphatheleni; uyazi nje ukuthi kuzoba ngcono kunesimo okuso njengamanje. Futhi ulungile ngalokho. Futhi, uma umshado usuphelile, uzimisele ukudlula cishe kunoma yini ukuze uqede futhi uqede.
Inqanyuliwe ngokomzimba
Uma ungaxhunyiwe njengezithandani, kusobala ngokungathinti kwakho. Awuyi ocansini, awugonjiwe, awuqabulane — anihlali ngisho eduze komunye nomunye. Cishe uvikelekile nokuxubana. Uthando alusekho futhi kuvele kuzwakale kunzima. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, ungazama ukufuna ukusondelana ngokomzimba kwenye indawo, futhi uma ungenandaba nomphumela wezenzo zakho endabeni engaba khona, khona-ke umshado kungenzeka ufinyelele ezingeni lokungaphinde ubuye.
Izinto azikashintshi
Lapho abalingani bezimisele ukushintsha, umshado awukapheli okwamanje. Kusenezinto okufanele sizame, izindlela ezintsha zokusondela, izindlela ezintsha zokwenza ubuhlobo bube ngcono. Kukhona ukwelashwa kwezithandani, ukuhlehla kwezithandani, ubusuku bobusuku, izingxoxo eziningi ngayo yonke into, njll. Kepha uma usukhathele yonke inketho, uzame konke ongakucabanga nokuningi kepha izinto azikashintshi, umshado usuphelile. Uma kungasebenzi naphezu kwawo wonke umzamo wakho, khona-ke izinto akunakwenzeka ukuthi zishintshe. Uzokwazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuqhubeka.
Ikusasa lakho alibandakanyi oshade naye
Lapho sisanda kushada, asikwazi ukucabanga izimpilo zethu ngaphandle komlingani wethu; empeleni singacabanga ukuguga ndawonye. Kuzo zonke izimo zempilo yethu yesikhathi esizayo, oshade naye uyingxenye ebalulekile. Kepha uma izinto ebudlelwaneni zihlakazeke ngokwanele, khona-ke lowo mbono wesikhathi esizayo kungenzeka ushintshe kakhulu. Uma wena uma ithemba lakho lesikhathi esizayo namaphupho akho — njengokuhamba uhambo olude, ukubona abazukulu, ukwenza izinto ezimnandi ndawonye ― kungasamfaki oshade naye, khona-ke isehlukaniso singaba sekuseni lakho. Engqondweni yakho, usuvele ucabanga ukuthi impilo izoba njani ngaphandle kwabo, futhi lokho kuyinkomba enhle yokuthi umshado wakho ungaphela.