-Delile
- 1. Mhloniphe
- 2. Ngena ngaphakathi ungacelwanga
- 3. Chithani isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye
- 4. Hlonipha isidingo sakhe sokuvikeleka ngokomzwelo
- 5. Yazi ukuthi angeke avele acime imicabango nemizwa yakhe
- 6. Lwazi ulimi lwakhe lothando futhi ulusebenzisele inzuzo yakho
- 7. Makhe
Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi uzwile isisho esithi “Unkosikazi ojabulayo, impilo ejabulisayo.” Inkinga kunzima (futhi kungazizwa kungenakwenzeka) ukwazi ukuthi yini emjabulisa ngoba, ake sibhekane nakho, thina besifazane sihluke kakhulu kunani bafana.
Engifuna ukwazi ukuthi inhliziyo yakho ngokusobala isendaweni efanele. (Ukube bekungekhona ngabe awukufundanga lokhu.) Udinga nje ukuyeka ukucabanga ukuthi umkakho ucabanga njengakho. (Futhi thina bafazi kudingeka siyeke ukucabanga ukuthi ucabanga njengathi.)
Futhi-ke kungokwemvelo ukucabanga ukuthi oshade naye ucabanga njengawe. Ngemuva kwakho konke bekubonakala sengathi wenza ngenkathi uqala ukuthandana, akunjalo?
Nansi-ke into, ngemuva kokuthi yonke imishanguzo yothando isiphelile bese uqala ukuphila impilo yakho yangempela njengendoda nenkosikazi uyeke ukugxila komunye nomunye. Futhi lapho uyeka ukugxila kakhulu uyeka ukucabanga ngokufanayo ngoba ezinye izinto, abantu, imicimbi kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho manje sekufuna ukunakwa kwakho (noma mhlawumbe okunye).
Ngethemba ukuthi uthola umqondo wokuthi kuzothatha umsebenzi omncane engxenyeni yakho ukwenza izinto ziguquke emshadweni wakho kuze kube seqophelweni lokuthi ujabule futhi uthole impilo yakho enenjabulo naye. Kepha ungakhathazeki, umsebenzi awukhathazi ngoba konke okumele ukwenze ukuthi ube ngumngani wakhe.
Manje ngaphambi kokuthi uqale uthi usuvele ungumngani wakhe, khumbula ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi ucabanga njengawe. Akakwenzi. Ubungane kuye kusho ukuqonda nokumxhasa ngendlela enengqondo kuye - hhayi kuwe.
Ngakho-ke nazi izindlela eziyi-7 ongaqinisa ngazo ubungane bakho nomkakho:
1. Mhloniphe
Hlonipha imicabango yakhe, imizwa yakhe, izinkolelo zakhe, imibono yakhe, izinto eziza kuqala kuye, amagugu akhe, umsebenzi wakhe, izinto zokuzilibazisa, izinto azifunayo, izidingo zakhe nesikhathi sakhe ngendlela ofuna ngayo ukuthi ahloniphe eyakho. Yikholwe noma ungakukholwa, iningi lamadoda liyayishaya indiva imicabango yabafazi, imizwa, izinkolelo, imibono, izinto eziza kuqala, izindinganiso, umsebenzi, izinto zokuzilibazisa, izidingo, nesikhathi nesikhathi lapho lezi zinto zingqubuzana nalokho ezikufunayo.
Kwabesilisa abaningi, akwenziwa ngamabomu ngoba yindlela abaphatha ngayo enye indoda. Balindele ukuthi enye indoda ibatshele ukuthi cha. Kepha, khumbula, unkosikazi wakho akacabangi njengawe ngakho uzizwa engahloniphekile uma uqhubeka ucindezela uhlelo lwakho ngaphambi kwakhe.
2. Ngena ngaphakathi ungacelwanga
Wake waqaphela ukuthi unkosikazi wakho uhlala ematasa kangakanani? (KULUNGILE, akubona bonke abafazi abanje, kodwa iningi linjalo.) Uhlala enokuthile asebenza ngakho futhi akuvamile ukumbona ehlala phansi akhululeke. Uthatha ukuthi uyabona ukuthi usebenza kanzima kanjani ukunakekela izingane, izilwane ezifuywayo, indlu nokudla. Futhi mhlawumbe uyakwenza.
Inkinga ukuthi udinga usizo lokunakekela izingane, izilwane ezifuywayo, indlu nokudla. Ukunakekela indlu nomndeni wakho kudinga nobabili ngoba bobabili bangabenu. Ngakho-ke ngena ngaphandle kokubuzwa. Qaphela ukuthi yini edinga ukwenziwa bese uyakwenza nje. O, futhi ungalindeli ukuthi uzokuncoma ngokukwenza njengoba nawe ungamncomi ngokwenza izinto ukondla umndeni wakho nomndeni wakho.
3. Chithani isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye
Manje umbono wakhe wesikhathi sekhwalithi ungahluka kunowakho, ngakho-ke qiniseka futhi wenze izinto athokozela kakhulu ukuzenza hhayi nje izinto azenza nawe ukujabulisa wena. (Imfihlo okudingeka uyazi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uyakujabulela ukukhuluma nawe nokuxhumana nawe ngokomqondo.)
4. Hlonipha isidingo sakhe sokuvikeleka ngokomzwelo
Ngifundile ukuthi abesifazane bakwazisa ukuphepha ngokomzwelo kunokuvikeleka kwezezimali. Angazi ukuthi lokho noma cha, kepha ngiyazi ukuthi abesifazane badinga ukuzizwa bephephile ukuveza imizwa yabo. Iningi lethu singabantu besifazane abanemizwa futhi sidinga ukwazi ukuthi abayeni bethu bayakuhlonipha lokhu ngathi.
(Sidinga nabayeni bethu ukuthi bazi ukuthi siyazwela nemizwa yabo.)
Uma singazizwa silondekile ngokomzwelo, siqala ukuvala bese sibheka kwabanye ukuze sanelise isidingo sethu sokusondelana ngokomzwelo. Manje angisho ukuthi sizobheka enye indoda (yize abanye besifazane benza), kepha sizoqala ukuchitha isikhathi esithe xaxa nabantu abasigcwalisayo lesi sidingo - njengabangani nemindeni yethu.
5. Yazi ukuthi angeke avele acime imicabango nemizwa yakhe
Ngiyazi ukuthi lokhu kubonakala kuyinqaba kulabo kini abangakwazi ukubeka izinto ezingqondweni zenu kalula, kepha abesifazane abaningi abakwazi ukukwenza lokho. Sijwayele ukuba nemicabango nemizwelo ye-bazillion egeleza ezingqondweni zethu ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi uzwile ihlaya ngalezi zithandani ezisenkingeni yothando futhi ngokungazelelwe ithi, "Luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka." Uzama ukugcina ukugxila kwakhe, kepha akafuni ukumziba bese ephazamiseka athi, "Ini?" Uyaphendula, "Ngicabanga ukuthi ngizopenda igumbi lokulala okwesibhakabhaka." Yebo, lokho kummoshela isimo, kepha usakulungele ukuhamba ngoba ekugcineni uxazulule inkinga abekade elwa nayo isikhathi eside impela! Futhi lokho, bahlonishwa, yindlela ingqondo yomuntu wesifazane esebenza ngayo.
Ngakho mnike isikhathi uma ebanjwe umcabango noma imizwa futhi engakwazi ukukubeka eceleni. Khuluma naye ngesineke ngayo ukuze umsize ayicubungule (Ungazami Ukuyixazulula) futhi ngokushesha lapho enza, uzobuyela kuye futhi.
6. Lwazi ulimi lwakhe lothando futhi ulusebenzisele inzuzo yakho
Sethemba ukuthi uzwile ngencwadi kaGary Chapman ethi The 5 Love Languages phambilini. Uma kungenjalo, udinga uku-oda ikhophi ngokushesha. Isisekelo sikaChapman ukuthi sonke ngokwemvelo sizwa futhi sikhombisa uthando okungenani eyodwa kwezindlela ezinhlanu ezahlukene. Kubalulekile ukuthi ukhombise uthando lwakho kumkakho ngendlela ezwakala kakhulu kuye esikhundleni sendlela eyenza umqondo kuwe.
Isibonelo, ake sithi ulimi lwakho lothando lungukuthinta ngokomzimba futhi uyaluthanda lapho ngokuzithandela ekugona nokukuqabula esidlangalaleni. Futhi ake sithi ulimi lwakhe lothando luyizipho. Uma ucabanga ukuthi uzozizwa ethandwa nguwe ngokuzenzekelayo ukumanga nokumanga esidlangalaleni, uzoba kakhulu, ungalungile kakhulu. Ngeke abe nomuzwa wokuthi umbonisa uthando, uzozwa ukuthi uthola izidingo zakho zothando futhi uziba ezakhe.
7. Makhe
Le yindawo eyodwa lapho nobabili nidinga into efanayo. Inkinga ukuthi ngokwesiko abesilisa bakwenza lokhu kaningi ukwedlula okwenziwa ngabesifazane. Ngakho-ke zinike isikhathi sokumazisa ukuthi umazisa kangakanani (nangaphezulu kokuya ocansini kuphela).
Lapho umkhuthaza ngokwengeziwe futhi umazisa, kulapho amandla namandla ayoba khona ukuze akukhuthaze futhi akwazise. Ngenye yalezo zinto lapho uma uhola ngesibonelo uzokwazi kalula ukulandela isibonelo sakho.
Ngifisa sengathi ngingakunika isiqinisekiso esigqoke insimbi ngokuthi ngu ngokungaguquguquki ukwenza lezi zinto eziyi-7 ukuthi unkosikazi wakho ajabule futhi impilo yakho ndawonye iyoba isimanga, kepha angikwazi. Bonke abesifazane bahlukile, kepha cishe sonke siyaphendula lapho umyeni wethu enza umzamo wokuba ngumngane wethu omkhulu. Futhi uma unikezwa ukuthi umvuzo uyimpilo ejabulisayo naye, ngicabanga ukuthi uzojabula ngokuba umngane wakhe omkhulu.