-Delile
- Ukudweba umugqa phakathi kothando lomndeni nobudlelwano obumisiwe
- Ukususa amasondo okuqeqesha
- Ukungena emayini we-landmeshed
Ukweqisa kwento enhle kubi. Isisho esidala esisebenza ezintweni eziningi, kufaka phakathi uthando. Ubudlelwano obufuthanisayo kulapho umuntu oyedwa ethanda umuntu ngokweqile ukuthi kubakhipha ngokoqobo impilo.
Uma uthi nhlá, ama-idealists nama-romantics angasho ukuthi ukuphela kwendlela eyiqiniso yokuthandana. Ngandlela thile, baqinisile, kepha ngomqondo osebenzayo wokuthuthuka komuntu ngamunye kanye nencazelo yegolide, uhlala ekugcineni okweqile.
Ukushoda kwemingcele yomuntu siqu ecacile kuchaza ubudlelwano obusimeme.
Amalungu omndeni kufanele athandane futhi azwelane. Kodwa-ke, lapho imingcele yomuntu siqu ingasekho phakathi kwabo, iba ubuhlobo obungenampilo obuhle.
Buyini ubudlelwano obumisiwe futhi kungani kunemibono engeyikho ngabo?
Ukudweba umugqa phakathi kothando lomndeni nobudlelwano obumisiwe
Nalu uhla lwezimpawu ezikhombisa ukuthi usesebudlelwaneni obudlondlobele ngokusho kukaRoss Rosenberg, udokotela wezifo zengqondo onguchwepheshe kwezobudlelwano.
- Umhlaba wakho uzungeze umuntu oyedwa. Udebeselela obunye ubudlelwano ngaphandle kwalobo obuyodwa.
- Injabulo yakho nokuzethemba kwakho kuncike enjabulweni yomuntu oyedwa. Uzwa noma yini abayizwayo.
- Awuphelele uma kukhona ukungqubuzana nalowo muntu. Uzodela noma yini ukuze nje wenze izinto.
- Uzwa umuzwa onamandla wokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana lapho ukude nalowo muntu isikhashana.
Esinye sezithiyo ezinkulu ebudlelwaneni obususelwe ukuthi abantu abahlushwa yilesi sifo bangabokugcina ukusibona, futhi lapho bekwenza, ngeke bathole lutho olungalungile ngaso.
Kunzima kakhulu ukuchaza ukuthi kungani kungalungile ukuthi noma ngubani athande umndeni wakhe ngokweqile. Kepha ngokusho kukaRosenberg, imingcele engenelela yabantu ebudlelwaneni obufakwe ebenza balahlekelwe ubuntu babo futhi babe yizigqila zobudlelwano.
Kunezikhathi futhi lapho ukungasebenzi kahle kuchitheka ngaphandle kobudlelwano futhi kuchithe ezinye izingxenye zempilo yabo. Ekugcineni, oyedwa noma bobabili abathintekayo ebudlelwaneni obusimeme bagcina belahlekelwe yikho konke ngenxa yabo.
Ukuqinisekisa abantu abangaphakathi kobudlelwano obunjalo ukuthi babheke ikusasa lokuhlukaniswa nokungasebenzi kahle, iningi labo belingenandaba. Abantu ebudlelwaneni obunjalo babeka phambili inhlalakahle yobudlelwano babo obufakwe emhlabeni. Njengoba bengumndeni, ngandlela thile, kunengqondo.
Imindeni ayiyiboni imingcele engayodwana. Eqinisweni, umndeni onothando kufanele ube nokuncane kakhulu. Lokho kuyicebo lokuhlaselwa, sebenzisa uthando olufanayo olubagubuzelayo bese uluguqula lube ubuhlobo obunempilo.
Ukususa amasondo okuqeqesha
Zonke izingane zafunda ukuhamba ngokudedela isandla somzali wazo. Injabulo yomzali nengane lapho ingane ithatha izinyathelo zayo zokuqala ingenye yezinto ezinomvuzo omkhulu emhlabeni.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezinjengoRosenberg, zikholelwa ukuthi ukuthembela ekuvumelaneni kanye nokuqinisa amandla kungasebenzi ngoba kuthikameza ukukhula komuntu ngamunye. Ukwenza lokho ngokungavumeli ukuhamba kwengane, futhi abafundeli ukuzihambela. Ingane izohamba ngebhayisikili lempilo kumasondo okuqeqesha. Kubukeka sengathi bayakwazi abakwenzayo, kepha kukude neqiniso.
Isibonelo, ebudlelwaneni obuyindodakazi kababa obudlisiwe, umzali wokuthwebula uyogcina indodakazi yakhe ikude kulokho akubona kuyisongo. Ikhula indodakazi ivikelekile futhi iyavikelwa. Uyehluleka ukuthuthukisa amakhono afanele okusebenzelana nabantu ukuze ahlanganyele nabantu futhi azivikele “ezinsongweni”. ngoba uyise uyamenzela.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuvikela ngokweqile kwaba ubuthakathaka bakhe. Uhluleka nje ukubona nokugwema "izinsongo" ngoba akakaze afunde ukuthi kanjani, noma okubi kunalokho ucabanga ukuthi umuntu ophelele olingisa ubaba wakhe bese engena ebudlelwaneni bothando obufudumele.
Iningi labantu abadala namuhla likhala ngokuthi izikole azifundisi ukuba ngabantu abadala. Ukukhula kuyigama lesimanje elisho ulwazi olusebenzayo nolunengqondo ukuze usinde emhlabeni wangempela. Kungumphumela oqondile wokubamba ngesandla ngokweqile. Laba bantu bayakhohlwa ukuthi, uma ukwazi ukufunda, uthayiphe, ne-Google, ungafunda noma yini. Isikole noma cha isikole.
Ukungena emayini we-landmeshed
Ubudlelwano obuthuthukisiwe bukuyo yonke indawo. Ngakho-ke kungenzeka ukuhlangana futhi unakekele umuntu oku-eyodwa. Isibonelo, ukushada emndenini obusisiwe. Ekuqaleni, noma ngabe nisathandana, ungakuthola kuhle ukuthi isithandwa sakho sisondelene nomndeni waso.
Ekugcineni, iqala ukukucasula. Uqala ukubona imiphumela yesimpawu sokuqala sikaRosenberg maqondana nokunganakwa. Inqwabelana ikwenza uzizwe sengathi uyisondo lesithathu ebuhlotsheni obusivele bukhona.
Uzozithola ususenkingeni yokuziphatha ngokufuna ngobugovu ukwephula uqhekeko phakathi komlingani wakho nomndeni wabo. Imibono eyiphutha yonke isuselwe kulesi simo esibucayi. Kuzovela ukuthi kuzinketho ezitholakalayo, okubi kakhulu okwenza umlingani wakho akhethe phakathi komndeni wakho nawe.
Kunokuhlukunyezwa okuningi okungokomzwelo okubandakanyekile ebudlelwaneni obumisiwe. Kungakho kwesinye isikhathi lapho iqembu elilodwa lifuna ukwelula amaphiko alo, othile alibuyisele emuva kulo.
Nalu uhlu lwalokho okungangena emqondweni wakho.
- Njengoba kube kanjena kuze kube phakade, kunengozi encane yemiphumela.
- Akukho lutho olungalungile olwenzekayo, Kujwayelekile ukuthi imindeni isondelane, eminye idlule eminye.
- Ubudlelwano bakho bamanje busesigabeni esihlukile kunesomndeni wabo, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi buzothuthuka futhi bufinyelele kulelo zinga.
- Amalungu omndeni afakiwe anentshisekelo kuphela enhlalakahleni yabantu ngabanye nasemndenini wonkana, azikho izisusa ezimbi.
- Akulungile ukulungisa ubudlelwano obugxilile. Kuyindlela yothando kuphela.
Noma yimuphi umuntu onengqondo uzoza nesiphetho esisodwa noma ezimbalwa zalezi ziphetho. Bazozama ukuthulisa izwi ekhanda labo ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngokuzikholisa ukuthi basabela ngokweqile. Noma yisiphi isenzo ngasohlangothini lwabo sizoholela kuphela engxabanweni engamenyiwe.
Ebudlelwaneni obugxilisiwe, ngesinye sezikhathi lapho umuzwa wakho ulungile. Iziphetho zakho ezinengqondo konke kuyimibono eyiphutha ejwayelekile. Uzothola kungekudala noma kamuva lokho osukwazi kodwa wenqaba ukwamukela.