-Delile
- 1. Ukungabi nengqondo akuyona into engavamile
- 2. Thola izinto ezikwenza usebenze ngokomzwelo
- 3. Yiba nesihawu futhi uzwisise
- 4. Xola lapho uzizwa uvuseleleka
- 5. Khuluma nomlingani wakho ngokuziphatha kwakho okungenangqondo
- 6. Funa usizo
Ukubambisana komuntu siqu kuyizizathu ezivundile zokungaxhumani kahle. Sitshelwe ukuthi sixhumane, sitshelwe (uhlobo) lokuthi kufanele sikhulume kanjani, futhi sitshelwa ukuthi imishado ephumelelayo nokusebenzisana kwenziwa ngabantu abaxhumana kahle (noma ngabe kusho ukuthini lokho.) Ngakho-ke, uma icala ukuxhumana kunengqondo kakhulu, kungani ungakwazi ukukwenza? Abantu izidalwa ezinengqondo! Ngakho-ke, kungani ungenangqondo kangako?
Kulula. Abantu bayizidalwa ezinengqondo ngokwengxenye.
Lapho kwenzeka okuthile okuhlukumezayo kuwe, kungakhathalekile ukuthi ubuchopho bakho obunengqondo bunquma “bukhulu” kangakanani, uhlelo lwakho lweLimbic lugcina ukuhlukumezeka njengememori engokomzwelo. Izinkumbulo zakho ezingokomzwelo azicutshungulwa ngokuphelele, futhi azithunyelwa ezindaweni zobuchopho. Esikhundleni salokho, zigcinwa ohlelweni lweLimbic.
Ngakho-ke, kusho ukuthini lokhu? Kusho ukuthi lezi zinkumbulo nemizwa engasetshenziswanga ayikabi nengqondo. Lezi zinkumbulo ezibalulekile zingakwenza usebenze ngokomzwelo futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho, kungadala ukuthi ube nobunzima obukhulu ngokuxhumana nabantu. Wazi kanjani uma usungene endaweni yeLimbic yobuchopho bakho? Kunoma isiphi isimo lapho unempendulo eqinile yomzwelo, usebenza ngolwazi olugcinwe ngaphakathi kohlelo lweLimbic. Lapho ulwazi luye ezindaweni zobuchopho bakho, alusasebenzi.
Njengoba ukuba nengqondo ngokuphelele kungenakufinyeleleka, ukuxhumana okuhle kubukeka kanjani? Ukuzama ukuba ngumxhumanisi onengqondo ngokuphelele, ikakhulukazi maqondana nobudlelwano bomuntu siqu, kuyinto engenamsebenzi. Kunezinto ezimbalwa ongazenza, noma kunjalo, ukuxhumana kangcono nomlingani wakho nabathandekayo.
1. Ukungabi nengqondo akuyona into engavamile
Yamukela ukuthi ukuvuselelwa ngokomzwelo nokungacabangi kuyinto engokwemvelo, kuwe nakwabanye. Uma kukhulunywa ngakho, ukumane uqonde ukuthi awulahlekelwa yingqondo yakho kungaba namandla amakhulu. Ukuzwa sengathi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho akuyona into engokwemvelo noma ye-pathological kungaholela emizweni yokwehlukaniswa kanye nezinkinga zokuzethemba.
2. Thola izinto ezikwenza usebenze ngokomzwelo
Qonda ukuthi yini empilweni yakho ekwenza uzizwe usabela ngokomzwelo. Kubalulekile ukubuka ukusabela kwakho futhi ujwayelane nalokho okuletha izimpendulo ezinamandla ezingokomzwelo. Mhlawumbe ukwahlulela kwabanye abazali. Mhlawumbe uzizwa uvuseleleka ngokomzwelo lapho oshade naye ethi bazokhipha udoti bakhohlwe. Khumbula, into encane kakhulu ongayenza ukuzihlulela ngemizwa yakho esebenzayo. Bheka impendulo yakho engokomzwelo ngokungakhiphi ukwahlulela, bese uyivumele igeleze kuwe njengesiphepho sesikhashana esiduma.
3. Yiba nesihawu futhi uzwisise
Yiba nozwelo kwabanye, njengoba behlangabezana nokusebenza ngokomzwelo. Lapho othile esendaweni yokuphinda asebenze ngokomzwelo, cishe akunakwenzeka ngabo ukuthi benze impikiswano enengqondo. Uhlelo lweLimbic luzodonsela ukunaka komuntu konke ekuhlangenwe nakho kwe-visceral kokuhlukumezeka, futhi akunakwa kakhulu okusalayo ukwenza umqondo onengqondo ngaphakathi kwezindawo ze-cortical. Lapho ubona lokhu kwenzeka, kubalulekile ukwehlisa ijubane unikeze omunye umuntu ithuba lokungabaza. Yiba nozwela futhi uqonde, njengomuntu obuye abangelwa izinkumbulo ezedlule ezigcinwe kuhlelo lwakho lweLimbic. Lezi zikhathi zokuqonda nozwela zingaba yizakhi eziqinile zokwakha ubudlelwano bokuthembana nobunothando.
4. Xola lapho uzizwa uvuseleleka
Zibekele imingcele, ukuze ukwazi ukuzithethelela lapho uzizwa uvuselelekile. Umlingani wakho angaba umuntu ophephile ongaxhoshwa naye. Kodwa-ke, mhlawumbe abasekhweni noma owakwakhe akaphephile. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuqonda izimbangela zakho futhi unqume ukuthi ungazitholela kanjani lapho udonswa endaweni engaphephile. Mhlawumbe uyazithethelela ngokuya endlini encane, ukuze uzinike isikhathi sokuvumela ukusabela kugobhoze kuwe ngokugcwele. Futhi, qaphela ukuthi lapho uzijwayeza ngokwengeziwe ukwazi okwenzeka kuwe ngezimbangela zakho, isikhathi esincane esizothatha lezo zikhathi ezisebenzayo ukudlula.
5. Khuluma nomlingani wakho ngokuziphatha kwakho okungenangqondo
Khuluma ngezimbangela zakho nomlingani wakho, futhi ube ngumnikazi wakho wokuthi le ngxenye yakho ayinangqondo futhi ingenxa yezinhlekelele ezingalungisiwe. "Okungenangqondo" yigama elibi kuphela uma uliyeka libe yilo. Ukuba nakho kwakho okungenangqondo, nokuchaza le mibono kumlingani wakho, kunganciphisa imizwa eminingi yokungaqondi noma ukudideka. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwethu okuningi akunangqondo. Ukuze umlingani wakho akuqonde, njengomuntu, kufanele bavume futhi bahloniphe ingxenye yakho engeyona eyokucabanga okunengqondo nokukhulumisana. Kumele futhi bamukele ukuthi abasona isidalwa esinengqondo ngokuphelele.
6. Funa usizo
Uma uzizwa uthinteke kakhulu ngezinkumbulo ezedlule noma ukukhathazeka ngokomzwelo, kungakuhle ukuthi ufune usizo kumhlinzeki wezempilo yengqondo onelayisense. Ezinye zezindlela ezinhle zokufinyelela kulwazi lweSistimu yeLimbic yi-EMDR, Neurofeedback, kanye Nezokwelapha Ezisuselwa Engqondweni. Imithi yokwelashwa ejwayelekile ingabhekana nezithiyo ezinkulu ekufinyeleleni izinkumbulo nemizwelo egcinwe kuLimbic System. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ukwelashwa kokukhuluma kuzama ukufinyelela kuLimbic System ngePre-Frontal Cortex. Izindlela zokwelapha ezibalwe ngenhla, okufakazelwe ukuthi ziyathulisa ngempumelelo nangendlela efanele uhlelo lweLimbic olungasebenzi kahle, zibalulekile ekukhuthazeni ukucubungula okunempilo kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu okwedlule.
Ukungavumelani nomlingani wakho kungakwenza uzizwe ungaqondakali. Uma uzizwa sengathi ubengenangqondo, ungazizwa ushiywe wedwa futhi udidekile. Ngesilulumagama esifanele kanye nezinhloso zokungahluleli, ubambiswano oluzinikele luyindawo enhle kakhulu yokuphulukisa kweLimbic. Ngokwabelana ngalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okungaphezu kwamagama, singaqala ukuhambisa amalebuli adlule afana nokuthi "angenangqondo" futhi "angenangqondo" endaweni yokuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwayo okungavumelani ngamazwi.