-Delile
- Ngabe isehlukaniso sizokwehlisa inani lengxabano phakathi komuntu engishade naye?
- Ngazi kanjani ukuthi isehlukaniso siyisinqumo esifanele?
- Ayini amathuba ami okushada futhi?
- Ingabe impilo ingcono emva kwesehlukaniso?
Awukho umshado ophelele. Njengoba wonke umuntu ehlukile, akunangqondo ukulindela ukuthi abantu ababili abangena emshadweni womshado abasoze baphikisana noma baxabane.
Ngisho nalabo ababethandana kakhulu futhi benobudlelwano obuhle ngenkathi beshada bangaba nezinkinga phansi komgwaqo. Uma umshado wakho usuqale ukubhekana nezinkinga, ungahle uzibuze ukuthi kungani isehlukaniso siyimpendulo efanele.
Noma ngabe izingqinamba phakathi kwakho noshade naye zivele ngenxa yobunzima bezezimali, ukungezwani kwemibono mayelana nokuthi ungazikhulisa kanjani izingane zakho, ukungathembeki, noma ukumane nihlukane, uzofuna ukukala ngokucophelela izinketho zakho ukuze unqume ukuthi uzojabula yini ngemuva kwesahlukaniso noma cha .
Ungahle ungajabuli emshadweni wakho, kodwa ingabe uzojabula ngempela emva kwesehlukaniso, noma ngabe kungaba ngcono ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukulungisa ubuhlobo bakho futhi ugweme ukuqala kabusha?
Uma kunjalo, unganquma kanjani ukuhlukanisa? Wazi kanjani ukuthi isehlukaniso silungile?
Zonke izimo zehlukile, ngakho-ke ayikho impendulo eyiyo yokuthi ufanele ukuhlukanisa noma cha.
Kodwa-ke, ngokubheka izinkinga obhekene nazo, ukuqonda izinketho ongazithola, futhi ulinganise izinzuzo nezingqinamba zokuhlala ushadile noma wokuhlukanisa, ungenza isinqumo esihle kakhulu wena nomndeni wakho.
Ngenkathi uthatha isinqumo sokwehlukanisa, kungasiza ukufuna okuvela kwabanye, kufaka phakathi abangani noma amalungu omndeni owahloniphayo umbono wabo, abelaphi noma abeluleki bezithandani.
Ngabe isehlukaniso sizokwehlisa inani lengxabano phakathi komuntu engishade naye?
Uma uhlangabezana nezinkinga zomshado, okunye kokukhathazeka kwakho okuyinhloko kungenzeka kube yizinga lokungezwani nokungezwani emndenini wakho. Ukuhlala kulolu hlobo lwesimo kungacindezela kakhulu.
Uma unezingane, ungahle ukhathazeke ngokuthi ukuvezwa izingxabano noma ukungqubuzana kuzoba yingozi yini ekukhuleni kwabo nasenhlalakahleni ephelele. Isehlukaniso singabonakala njengendlela yokuqeda le mpikiswano futhi sivumele wena nomndeni wakho ukuthi nihlale endaweni enokuthula.
Ngenkathi ukuqeda umshado wakho kungabonakala kuyindlela eya empilweni yasekhaya engakhathazeki kangako, kufanele wazi ukuthi izinto zizoba zimbi kakhulu ngaphambi kokuba zibe ngcono.
Uma usuvele unezingxabano emshadweni wakho, ukwazisa oshade naye ukuthi ufuna isehlukaniso kungahle kudale izinto zibe sezingeni eliphakeme noma ngaphezulu, njengoba uqhubeka ngokuhlukanisa izimpilo zakho komunye nomunye.
Noma ngabe wena noshade naye nobabili nivumelana ukuthi nifuna isehlukaniso, kungenzeka nihlangabezane nezingxabano njengoba nilungisa izinto zomthetho, ezezimali nezisebenzayo ngokuhlukana kwenu.
Izingxabano ngendlela yokwaba impahla yakho, ukuphatha izindaba zezimali, noma ukubhekelela ilungelo lokugcina izingane zakho zingaba nzima ukuzixazulula, futhi lezi zimpi zomthetho zingacindezela kakhulu kunezingxabano noma ukungavumelani enibe nakho phakathi komshado wenu.
Ngenhlanhla, ngokusebenza nommeli wedivosi, unganquma izindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuxazulula lezi zindaba. Lapho inqubo yesehlukaniso isiphelile, ungadlulela kokunye okungathenjelwa ukuthi kube yimpilo yasekhaya enokuthula futhi engenazingxabano.
Kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuphothulwa kwesahlukaniso sakho akusho ukuthi ukuphela kwempikiswano nomlingani wakho. Kulokhu, injabulo ngemuva kwesahlukaniso ngokuqinisekile ayiqinisekisiwe.
Ngenkathi eminye imibhangqwana ingakwazi ukwenza "ikhefu elihlanzekile" futhi ingangeni ezimpilweni zomunye nomunye ukuya phambili, iningi labashadile abahlukanisile liyaqhubeka nokuhlangana ndawonye ngokwezezimali ngokukhokhelwa ukwesekwa ngumlingani, noma abazali bangadinga ukugcina ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo ngoba babelana ngokugcinwa kwezingane zabo.
Uma wena noshade naye nihlala ezimpilweni zomunye nomunye kulandela ukuhlukanisa, ungaqhubeka uhlangabezana nezingxabano. Uma unezingane ndawonye, kungavela ukungezwani okusha mayelana nokuthi izingane zakho zizokhuliswa kanjani, noma izingxabano ezindala zingaphinde zivele lapho nixhumana nomunye.
Kungaba lula ukubuyela emaphethini amadala futhi ubuyekeze izimpikiswano ezindala. Noma kunjalo, ngokubeka imingcele ecacile futhi ugxile ezithakazelweni ezingcono zezingane zakho, ungasebenzela ukunciphisa izingxabano, ugcine ubuhlobo obuhle, futhi uhlale ujabule ngemuva kwesehlukaniso.
Ngazi kanjani ukuthi isehlukaniso siyisinqumo esifanele?
Ukuqeda umshado wakho kuyisinyathelo esinzima, futhi abaningi benu bangazibuza, ngizojabula yini ngehlukaniso.
Yize kunezimo ezithile, njengalezo ezibandakanya ukungathembeki noma ukuhlukunyezwa, lapho umuntu engaqiniseka khona ukuthi bazojabula ngempela ngemuva kwesehlukaniso, ezimweni eziningi, abashadile abaqiniseki ngokuthi bafuna ngempela ukushiya imishado yabo ngemuva.
Njengoba ucabanga ukuthi ufuna ukuqhubeka nesehlukaniso yini, ungahle uthande ukuhlola isimo sakho bese ubheka ukuthi ukuqeda umshado wakho kungakubeka yini endaweni engcono. Kungenzeka yini ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho?
Ungahle ufune ukuxoxa ngokwenzekayo mayelana nokwelulekwa ngomshado noshade naye ukunquma ukuthi ngabe nobabili ningasebenzisana yini ukunqoba ukungezwani kwenu futhi niqiniseke ukuthi nobabili niyajabula.
Ungase futhi ufune ukubheka ezinye izindlela ongakhulisa ngazo injabulo yakho nokwaneliseka empilweni yakho, njengokulandela izinto zokuzilibazisa noma izintshisekelo uwedwa noma nomlingani wakho noma ukuchitha isikhathi nabangane noma amalungu omndeni owengeziwe.
Ngokuthola izindlela zokubhekana nokunqoba izingqinamba ezingakhathaza impilo yakho, ungathola ukuthi ungahlala ujabulile emshadweni futhi ugweme ukungaqiniseki nobunzima obuza nesehlukaniso.
Futhi Buka:
Kepha, uma ubona ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho zomshado, isehlukaniso singakunikeza indlela eya empilweni engcono.
Akudingeki ukuthi uhlale emshadweni ongagcwalisi noma esimeni sasekhaya esingajabule futhi sigcwele ukungezwani kungekho thuba lokwenza ngcono. Yize inqubo yesehlukaniso ingacindezela, ingakuvumela ukuthi uphume esimweni esibi futhi ikujabulise ngemuva kwesehlukaniso.
Ayini amathuba ami okushada futhi?
Ezimweni eziningi, abantu bakhetha ukuhlala emshadweni ongasebenzi ngenxa yokwesaba ukuba wedwa.
Cishe ungene emshadweni wakho, ulindele ukuthi uzohlala impilo yakho yonke, futhi uma ususungule ubudlelwane besikhathi eside, ukubushiya ngemuva nokuqala kabusha kungaba yinto esabekayo.
Ungakhathazeka ngokuthi ngeke uphinde uthole uthando, kodwa ngenhlanhla, lokhu akudingeki kube njalo, futhi njengoba isisho sithi, “Kukhona izinhlanzi eziningi olwandle.”
Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi cishe isigamu sabantu abahlukanisile bazophinde bashade kungakapheli iminyaka emihlanu, futhi cishe abantu abangama-75% baphinde bashada kungakapheli iminyaka eyishumi. Lezi zibalo zibonisa ukuthi, empeleni, ungajabula ngemuva kwesehlukaniso.
Kwezinye izimo, ukuqala ubudlelwano obusha kungabonakala kunzima, ikakhulukazi kulabo abanezingane. Noma kunjalo, abanye abantu abaningi basesimweni esifanayo, futhi ukuthola umuntu ofanele imvamisa kuyindaba yokuphikelela.
Izifundo ozifunde ngesikhathi somshado wakho zingakusiza wakhe ubudlelwano obusha obuyimpumelelo, udlulele emaphutheni akho adlule, futhi ngazo zonke izindlela uhlale ujabulile ngemuva kwesehlukaniso!
Ingabe impilo ingcono emva kwesehlukaniso?
Isinqumo sesehlukaniso ngeke sibe yisiqinisekiso senjabulo. Noma kunjalo, kungaba yisinyathelo esifanele sokuya phambili usuka emshadweni ongasebenzi nokwakha impilo enhle wena nomndeni wakho.
Kodwa-ke, kufanele wazi ukuthi isehlukaniso siza nezinselelo eziningi, futhi kungathatha isikhathi ukufika ezingeni lapho ungajabula khona ngokweqiniso ngemuva kwesehlukaniso.
Ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso sakho, kuzodingeka ubhekane nezinkinga ezahlukahlukene. Ungahle udinge ukusungula amalungiselelo okuphila amasha, wakhe amashejuli wesikhathi ozosichitha nezingane zakho, futhi wakhe isabelomali esisha esizokuvumela ukuthi uphile ngokunethezeka emholweni owodwa.
Ngokusebenza nommeli wedivosi, ungaqiniseka ukuthi usingatha inqubo yomthetho yesehlukaniso ngendlela efanele, futhi ungathatha izinyathelo zokuqala isigaba esilandelayo sempilo yakho ngonyawo lwesokudla.
Hlala wazi ukuthi ngaphandle kokuthi kuyinkinga enjengokuhlukumeza kanzima lapho ingekho enye indlela ngaphandle kokukhetha isehlukaniso, zama ukwelulekwa emshadweni noma uye ezifundweni zokwelulekwa ngomshado. Abeluleki bemishado noma ngalokho odokotela bezengqondo bangamba bangene ekujuleni kwezimbangela zezinkinga noma bakusize ukubhekana nezinkinga zansuku zonke ezithinta ubudlelwano. Ngaleyo ndlela ungaqiniseka ukuthi nobabili noma okungenani omunye wenu nizame konke ngaphambi kokuphuma.