-Delile
Njengompetha wezithandani, ngihlala ngizwa ophathina bachaza njengabanamathelayo, ababandayo, abenqabayo, noma abahlala ezweni labo. Lokho akuchazayo empeleni akuzona izimfanelo zomuntu siqu kepha izitayela zokunamathisela ezakha ebuntwaneni futhi eziqhubeka nokuthinta ubudlelwane bethu babantu abadala.
Indlela esixhumana ngayo nabalingani bethu, noma ngabe sifuna ukusondelana noma ukusondelana, ukuthi simatasa kangakanani ngobudlelwano bethu obuseduze nokuthi sikusingatha kanjani ukwenqatshwa yizici ezinquma izitayela zethu zokunamathiselwa. Ngamanye amagama, izitayela zokunamathisela izindlela zethu zokuxhumana nabalingani bethu abaseduze. Ziwumphumela wokuxhumana kwethu okuncike kokunamathiselwe nabazali bethu kanye nokuxhunywa kwezintambo emphakathini.
Okunamathiselwe kungavikeleka noma kungavikeleki, kuya ngekhwalithi yobudlelwano bethu nabazali bethu lapho sisebancane kakhulu. Izitayela ezimbili eziyinhloko zokunamathiselwa okungavikelekile okunamathiselwe okukhathazayo nokugwema. Okushukumisayo okuvame kakhulu engikubona phakathi kwemibhangqwana ebhekana nokucindezeleka ngokobudlelwano kungumlingani onesitayela sokunamathisela esikhathazayo esihlanganiswe nomlingani ogwema.
Ozakwethu abanesitayela sokunamathisela esivikelekile bavame ukuthola ukuthi abakwazi ukunikeza lokho abalingani babo abakufunayo kubo njengothando lomzimba, ukusondelana, noma ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Isitayela sokunamathisela esivikelayo ukujwayela ukunganakwa ngokomzwelo komzali okuqala okuzibonakalisa njengesidingo esinamandla sokuzimela nokuzimela ebuhlotsheni obuseduze babantu abadala.
Lapho becasukile, abalingani ababalekayo badinga isikhathi sodwa sokwehlisa umoya futhi bathambekele ekubeni nezinga eliphakeme kakhulu lokucindezeleka phakathi kwabantu ebudlelwaneni babo. Kodwa-ke, akuvamile ukuthi babheke ngaphakathi ukuthola imbangela yezinkinga zabo. Imvamisa bathi ukucindezelwa kobudlelwano kubalingani babo noma ezimweni ezingaphandle.
Abantu abanomqondo wokuthi ukwethenjwa cishe njalo kuholela ekudumazekeni futhi bakulungele impela ukunakekela abanye kepha hhayi bona ngokwabo bavame ukuba nesitayela sokunamathisela okukhathazayo. Ozakwethu abanamathelene nokukhathazeka bangaqonda ukuthi umlingani wabo unobugovu noma uzicabangela yena futhi uzizwa ebambekile ebudlelwaneni obuseceleni lapho izidingo zabo zinganakekelwa ngendlela abanakekela ngayo umlingani wabo.
Bavame ukuba nesidingo esinamandla sokukhuluma ngezinto lapho becasukile. Okunamathiselwe okukhathazayo ukujwayela uthando nokunaka komzali okungahambelani. Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi bahlale beqaphile nganoma yiziphi izinsongo ebudlelwaneni futhi bazwela kakhulu ngisho nasekushintsheni okuncane kokuzizwa komlingani wabo noma amandla obudlelwano.
Ukwesaba, ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka kuvame ukubakhathaza futhi bavame ukugxumela eziphethweni ngobudlelwano babo ngokushesha okukhulu.
Ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani onesitayela sokunamathisela esikhathazayo?
Abantu abanezitayela zokunamathisela okukhathazayo bavame ukukhathazeka ngokuthi imizwa yabo ingumthwalo, futhi ukuba sengozini kwabo okukhulu noma ukwesaba ukwahlukana, ukuhlala wedwa futhi ulahliwe.
Uma umlingani wakho enesitayela sokunamathisela okukhathazayo, kungahle kube lusizo kuwe ukulandela lezi zeluleko ukuze unqobe izinselele ebudlelwaneni bakho bokunamathisela okukhathazayo.
- Bukana emehlweni bese udlulisa ukuthi uyalalelisisa, uyasebenza futhi uyaphendula ngesikhathi sengxoxo.
- Khombisa ilukuluku / intshisekelo bese ubuza imibuzo.
- Nikeza isiqinisekiso ngokuzenzekelayo futhi futhi uma utshelwa.
- Yabelana ngezinto ngawe nemizwa yakho- ungazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani noma lapho izinto zimi khona kumphazamisa kakhulu umlingani wakho okhathazekile.
- Zama ukuxazulula / ukulungisa izinto okwamanje noma ngokushesha. Nikeza umlingani wakho ithuba lokukhuluma ngemizwa yakhe.
Ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho
Abantu abanezitayela zokunamathisela ezivikelekile bavame ukukhathazeka ngokungangenelwa noma ukuzizwa bevalelekile, futhi ubungozi babo obukhulu noma ukwesaba kusolwa / kugxekwa noma kuzizwe kungalawuleki.
- Uma umlingani wakho enesitayela sokunamathisela esivikelayo, kungakusiza kuwe:
- Lalela kabanzi futhi ukhulume kancane- imisho embalwa ngasikhathi esinegebe phakathi lapho umlingani wakho engaphendula- ufuna ingxoxo ibe yingxoxo hhayi eyomuntu oyedwa. Uma uzithola use-monologue, usuvele ulahlekelwe yizithameli zakho (uzakwethu).
- Nikeza umlingani wakho isikhathi sokucubungula imizwa / imicabango- ungangeni kwimibuzo yakho noma uphikelele ekutheni umlingani wakho udinga ukuhlanganyela nawe ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngaleso sikhathi.
- Esikhundleni salokho, bazise ukuthi bangafinyelela kuwe lapho bekulungele ukukhuluma.
- Hola ingxoxo ngokuba sengozini nemizwa ethambile- ukuqala ingxoxo ngentukuthelo, ukugxeka, nokusola kuyaphikisana kakhulu Beka imizwa yakho eceleni okwamanje ukukhuthaza umlingani wakho ukuthi avuleke ukuze kwakheke ubudlelwano obusengozini.
- Zama ukuxazulula / ukulungisa izinto ngokushesha. Ungamfihleli amehlo umlingani wakho ngezinkinga ezimbalwa ezingaxazululeki obukade uhleli phezu kwazo - esikhundleni salokho vela udaba olulodwa ngesikhathi, luxazulule bese udlulela kolandelayo.
Lezi ngezinye zezindlela ezilusizo kakhulu zokuthola ukuxhumana okusebenzayo ebudlelwaneni. Ngaphandle kwezitayela zokunamathisela ezahlukahlukene, ukubaluleka kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni akunakudwetshelwa ngokwanele. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi uphendule lo mbuzo - ukuthi ungalungisa kanjani ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni futhi ujulise uthando, ububele nokuzwelana.