-Delile
- 1. Thatha iseluleko sikaStephen Covey
- 2. Ngaphambi kwesikhathi
- 3. Nikeza izixazululo, hhayi izinkinga
- 4. Yenza okulindelekile kucace
- 5. Musa ukulala uthukuthele noshade naye
Kunezingxenye eziningi kakhulu ezihambayo ngaphakathi komshado omude nogculisayo. Kudingeka kube nensada yothando nenhlonipho komunye nomunye. Ukugcina uthando luphilile, ukwethembeka nokwethembana kuyadingeka futhi.
Uma uzochitha impilo yakho nothile, kudingeka ukuthi kube nendawo yazo zonke lezi zinto ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Kepha ngaphandle kokuxhumana okwanele ebudlelwaneni, umshado wakho ungafinyelelwa kulokho okulindele.
Ukuxhumana okusebenzayo ebuhlotsheni yingcina egcina yonke into isendaweni, evumela uthando ukuthi lukhule nokwethembana kuqhakaze.
Uma ungakwazi ukukhuluma nothando lwakho ngomuntu, bazokwazi kanjani? Uma ungakwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka nomlingani wakho, kungathembana kanjani?
Yingakho ukwenza ngcono ikhono lokuxhumana kuyisisekelo sempumelelo yomshado wakho. Ngokusebenzela ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani noshade naye, ubuhlobo benu buzokhula.
Ngakho-ke uma uzibuza ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani kangcono ebudlelwaneni? Noma ungakuthuthukisa kanjani ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni?
Ake sithathe isikhashana bese sibheka amakhono wokuxhumana amahlanu emibhangqwaneni okufanele uqale ukuwenza namuhla azoguqula indlela wena noshade naye enixhumana ngayo.
Zijwayeze lezi zeluleko zokuxhumana ezisebenzayo nsuku zonke, futhi imiphumela izozikhulumela.
1. Thatha iseluleko sikaStephen Covey
UCovey, umbhali wencwadi ethi The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, uthi maqondana nokuxhumana nabantu, kufanele uhlale ufuna kuqala ukuqonda bese uyaqondakala.
Lo mkhuba ungasebenza ekutheni uxhumana kanjani nanoma ubani, kodwa maqondana nokuthi usebenza kanjani emshadweni wakho nokuthi uxhumana kanjani ebudlelwaneni, lesi seluleko siyigolide.
Sonke sinomkhuba wokuchitha isikhathi sethu esiningi “silalele” omunye umuntu ecabanga ukuthi sizophendula kanjani.
Esikhundleni sokuhlala phansi singenise lonke ulwazi oluzayo, sithola igama elilodwa, ibinzana, noma amazwibela engxoxo yabo bese senza izinqumo mayelana nokuthi yini esizoyibuyisa emuva.
Ngenxa yalokhu, asikuzwa ngokweqiniso konke okushiwoyo. Uma kunjalo, impendulo yethu ingahle ingatholakali.
Ngokuzayo lapho uphakathi kwengxoxo enobudlelwano enengqondo nomyeni wakho noma unkosikazi, melana nesifiso sokucabanga ukuthi uzophendula kanjani bengakaqedi ukukhuluma.
Mane uhlale phansi, ulalele, futhi uzwe ukuthi bathini. Uma usukwenzile lokho, bese uphendula ngokufanele.
2. Ngaphambi kwesikhathi
Ungazibekeli phansi izingxoxo ezingathandeki. Isizathu sokuthi bangakhululeki ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi badinga ukwenzeka.
Uma umyeni wakho engasibambi isisindo sakhe njengobaba, veza imizwa yakho ngendlela eyakhayo. Uma unkosikazi wakho ebengeyena kamuva nje, futhi kubuthinta kabi ubudlelwano bakho, khuluma.
Uma uvumela lezi zingxoxo zihlale isikhathi eside eshalofini, izinkinga ziyokhula ngokwengeziwe. Uma usuyikhombile inkinga, futhi uzizwa ukuthi idinga ukulungiswa, nakekela ibhizinisi.
3. Nikeza izixazululo, hhayi izinkinga
Ziningi izindlela zokuxhumana, futhi uma usuthathe isinqumo sokuthi udinga ukuxoxa ngokungathi sína nomuntu oshade naye, qiniseka ukuthi ufaka ingxoxo ngendlela eqonde izixazululo.
Uma uqala ingxoxo ngokubatshela ukuthi banqanyulwe kanjani ngokomzwelo noma ukuthi bebehlukumezeke kanjani kepha unganikeli ngezixazululo, wenza ukuthi bobabili labo bantu bangenzi kahle.
Cabanga lokhu: umbhangqwana uphakathi kwengxabano lapho unkosikazi etshela umyeni wakhe ...
“Awuyona leyondoda ethanda ukuzijabulisa engashada nayo.”
Inkinga ishiwo ngokusobala, kepha asikho isixazululo sokukhuluma ngaso. Zimbili izinto nakanjani ezizokwenzeka manje.
Umyeni kungenzeka acasuke noma azivikele. Angahle akhulume ngezizathu zokuthi kungani engasenjalo, abeke umkakhe icala, futhi aqinise ubuthi bengxoxo.
Angaphinde ahlehle futhi avale kude, angathandi ukulungisa inkinga.
Kuzo zombili lezi zimo, inkinga eshiwo ngeke ixazululwe. Ukusho udaba lwakho ngokuthile kuhle, kepha lungela lokho okungenziwa ukulungisa inkinga.
Esikhundleni sokumane utshele umyeni ukuthi akajabuli ngobuntu bakhe obufiphele, mhlawumbe kufanele asikisele izinto abangazenza ndawonye noma adale amathuba endoda yokuphinda athole ukuzilibazisa okudala.
Ngakho-ke enye into ongayithola kumakhono wokuxhumana angcono ukuba nesisombululo esitholakalayo sokunikeza ukugxila okusha engxoxweni esivele ingakhululekile.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukusho inkinga ngaphandle kokuzama ukusiza ukuthola isisombululo kumane kungukukhononda.
4. Yenza okulindelekile kucace
Yini oyilindele kumlingani wakho nakubudlelwano bakho?
Izinga lobudlelwano bakho lizoncika kakhulu ezingeni lezinto ozilindele. Abanye bethu benza iphutha lokucabanga ukuthi izici ezithile zobudlelwano "zihamba ngaphandle kokusho."
Uma kungashiwongo ngokuzwakalayo, lapho-ke ngeke ucasuke uma umlingani wakho engahlangabezani nezilindelo zakho.
Uma ufuna ukuba nezingane, kwazise. Uma ungafuni ukukhohliswa, tshela umlingani wakho. Uma unezinkolelo ezithile mayelana nemininingwane yobudlelwano bakho, yenza oshade naye azi.
Ungakhohliswa ngokucabanga ukuthi, “Kufanele bazi kangcono.” Uma ungakucacisanga, awunasisekelo sokuma lapho ucasukile. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo ukusungula okulindelekile kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo.
5. Musa ukulala uthukuthele noshade naye
Kukhona izinsalela ezithile ezihlala ngemuva kokungezwani. Lapho ukhethe ukuchitha impilo yakho yonke nothile, nakanjani uzocindezela izinkinobho zomunye nomunye njalo ngesikhathi esikhulu.
Uma ugcina ngokuxabana sekusondele isikhathi sokulala, qiniseka ukuthi uxazulula noma uthole ukuvalwa kwendaba ngaphambi kokuba ugingqe bese uyolala.
Lesi ngesinye sezeluleko ezibaluleke kakhulu zokuxhumana ngobuhlobo okufanele usikhumbule. Ungalokothi ulale ngaphandle kokuxazulula izingxabano. Akudingeki ujabule ngomphumela, empeleni, kepha awunakucasula.
Ukuba nalokhu kuvalwa ngaphambi kokuzama ukuvala iso, kungenza umehluko omkhulu ekutheni usuku olulandelayo noma lolo lobuhlobo bakho luzodlala kanjani.
Uma ufika esiphethweni ngenhlonipho engxoxweni yakho, uzovuka ungacasukile futhi ukwazi ukubuyela endaweni enothando ngalolo suku.
Uma ungakulungisi ukungaboni ngaso linye ngaphambi kokuba uvale amehlo, kungenzeka uvuke ucasukile kowakwakho, ulungele umjikelezo wesi-2.
Ingabe umshado wakho ungumusa futhi uwenze umthetho wokuxazulula ukungaboni ngaso linye ngaphambi kokuba ulale. Kunganciphisa intukuthelo engalandela usuku olulandelayo uma ungafinyelelanga endaweni yokuvalwa ngobusuku obandulele.
Amakhono amahlanu wokuxhumana ngobudlelwano angasiza impela ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano phakathi kwenu nobabili. Zizame futhi ujabulele umehluko.
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